


Discord, I’m howling at the moon—

by crowquake



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Human AU, M/M, Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Remus, bc that’s what I know best, chatfic, i have like no plan for this, its set on discord btw, or like, theyre not bad guys in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2020-12-01 21:31:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 19,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20905286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowquake/pseuds/crowquake
Summary: I just wanted to write a Sanders Sides discord fic tbhUuuh kinda backstory is Roman is a semi-famous blogger/youtuber and he made a discord server for his patreon supporters & friends ig which is why there’s so few people idk, as well as using a limited use invite link. This description is boring I promise the fic itself is probably better[temporarily on hiatus until I can get some motivation back for it]





	1. Welcome to Roman’s Princedom!

**Author's Note:**

> I’m probably gonna change the story title later lol I couldn’t think of anything good and I was listening to discord,, this is a discord fic,,, u get it  
Also if it wasn’t clear, the server name is Roman’s Princedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday afternoon

** _#intros_ **

**princeofrome**

Name: Roman  
Age: 19  
Pronouns: he/him  
Socials: princeofrome on Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and YouTube  
Extra: I’m very gay

**dad time**

Name: Patton!!  
Age: 21 :D  
Pronouns: He/Him!  
Socials: pitter-patton on tumblr, sewingpatton on Twitter  
Extra: You’re all my children now! Congrats!

**Logan**

Name: Logan.  
Age: 20.  
Pronouns: He/Him or It/Its.  
Social Media: logical-logan on Tumblr.  
Extra: I have never felt anything in my life.

**🌩storm🌩**

name: that’s for me to know and you to not find out (just call me storm i guess)  
age: 19  
pronouns: he/him or 🌩/🌩s/🌩self  
social media: stormy-knight on tumblr, oXoStormy_KnightoXo on myspace  
extra: i have anxiety so i probably won’t be very active idk

**Thomas Sanders**

Name: Thomas  
Age: 30  
Pronouns: He/Him  
Socials: thatsthat24 on tumblr, thomassanders or thomas sanders on everything else!  
Extra: I also am very gay!

**dear rat boy**

name: remy (like the rat from ratatouille)  
age: 25  
pronouns: he/they  
socials: sleepy-time-starbucks on tunglr  
extra: i haven’t slept in 5 years and yet i am always asleep o.o

**the duke**

Name: Remus  
Age: 19  
Pronouns: he/him  
Socials: duke-of-fuckington on tumblr :p  
Extra: I’m Roman’s identical twin and I eat deodorant for fun :D

**E(s)mile**

Name: Emile!  
Age: 27!  
Pronouns: He/Him!  
Socials: I don’t have any, Roman sent me the invite over text!  
Extra: I really love cartoons!!

**hiss hiss bitch**

name: deceit/dee  
age: 22  
pronouns: he/🐍self  
socials: ScalyLittleLiar on twitter  
extra: contrary to my name, I don’t actually lie often (or is that a lie itself? ;p)

* * *

** _#general_ **

**Roman 👑**

We should probably all change our nicknames to our names (if they aren’t already) just so it doesn’t get too confusing

**Emile**

Mine kind of was already but it was probably hard to read so I changed it!

**🌩storm🌩**

i said to call me storm specifically so i wouldn’t have to bother changing it

**Thomas**

I’d love to talk to you all but I’ve gotta go to rehearsals! So do you, Roman

**Roman 👑**

Jokes on you I’m already at the auditorium :p

**Thomas**

Of course you are lol

**Remus OwO**

I’m sad he still wouldn’t let me drive him ;{ I want to be there to watch him rehearse

**Roman** 👑

Remus you don’t have a drivers license

**Remus OwO**

So!? Live a little, brother!

**Logan**

I don’t really think that endangering yours and Roman’s life counts as ‘living a little’. It’s closer to dying a lot.

**Remus OwO**

You’re no fun :{

**Patton** ☀️

Haha! I love dad jokes! I prefer the ones not about death, but still.

**Logan**

Was that a dad joke?

**Deceit**

Not at all.

**Logan**

‘,:|

🌩**storm**🌩

do you guys know if anyone else is gonna join? because if so i might just leave, this is already a lot

**Roman** 👑

Nah, not for a while at least. The invite link I posted was limited to 5 uses so it wouldn’t get too overwhelming, I sent seperate links to Emile, Thomas, Remus, and Patton

🌩**storm**🌩

ok cool  
cuz u guys seem kinda cool nd i don’t wanna have to leave like i do every other chat i join

**Logan**

How can you tell if we’re “cool”? We’ve only been here for about 15 minutes.

🌩**storm**🌩

i already follow most of you on tumblr so there’s that whole parasocial relationship thing

**Patton** ☀️

Oh yeah! I see you in my notes all the time! If you ever want me to send exclusive puppy pics I’m willing to oblige :p

🌩**storm**🌩

really? that’d be nice actually

**Remy (rat boy)**

Hey I’m really fucking tired so I’m just gonna say y’all seem rad as shit before I pass out

**Patton** ☀️

Sleep well!!

**Thomas**

OKAY I’m at the auditorium, talk to you guys later! Roman get off your phone!

**Roman** 👑

Yeah yeah I’m already inside smh catch up


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday early morning (or Thursday late at night lol)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which theo tries to figure out how to use his own art in a fanfic and have the characters compliment it without seeming conceited just because he’s too scared to commission someone, let alone for something so stupid  
idk i’m probably overthinking it lol, anyways this is kinda random nonsense but enjoy

_ **#general** _

**Remy (rat boy)**

Storm I honestly wasn’t expecting you to join here  
_⁽ᵉᵈᶦᵗᵉᵈ⁾_

**🌩storm🌩**

fair. also please don’t say my real name

**Remy (rat boy)**

Shit sorry, hopefully nobody else saw that

Everyone else should be asleep so it’s probably fine

**Emile**

I saw, but don’t worry! I won’t tell anyone, Storm!

🌩**storm**🌩

thanks

why r u awake rn?? it’s 2am

**Emile**

Insomnia :(

**Remy (rat boy)**

Oh hey same hat

**Emile**

What about you, Storm?

🌩**storm**🌩

i was asleep but had a nightmare nd i’m not tired anymore

**Remy (rat boy)**

Want me to come over?

🌩**storm**🌩

nah, i’ve calmed down, just can’t get back to sleep

**Remy (rat boy)**

Alright, if you’re sure

🌩**storm**🌩

i am :3

**Emile**

Do you two know each other already? I thought you didn’t know anyone here, Storm?

🌩**storm**🌩

remy’s my cousin, i didn’t think it was worth bringing up, idk

**Remy (rat boy)**

Ooo storm you should show these guys your art!!

🌩**storm**🌩

uhhhh

maybe not yet

there isn’t even a channel for art

**Emile**

Oh, Roman gave me mod powers so I could make one! That doesn’t mean you have to send it of course, but the option will be there!

🌩**storm**🌩

thanks, i guess

* * *

** _#art_ **

🌩**storm**🌩

first

**Remy (rat boy)**

Thirst ;p

* * *

** _#general_ **

**Emile**

No problem! No pressure or anything but I’d love to see your art when you’re ready to show us!

🌩**storm**🌩

there’s some on my blog but it’s all kinda old

i guess it couldn’t hurt to send it

especially since it’s only you two online rn

**Emile**

No need to force yourself!

* * *

** _#art_ **

🌩**storm**🌩

so since remy started this here’s a drawing of him i did when we were hanging out last week  


**Remy (rat boy)**

Nooo don’t reveal the fact that I have a physical form you’re so talented haha

**Emile**

:O that’s really good!! I love the colours and the lines and just the whole thing!!

🌩**storm**🌩

thank you

i prefer traditional art tbh but digital is very convenient

i drew that on my ipad

**Emile**

I love it :D I can’t wait to see more!

**Remy (rat boy)**

Storm can I send him some of the Tim Burton fanart you gave me

🌩**storm**🌩

i guess so

**Emile**

Storm all of these are amazing!

🌩**storm**🌩

uuuh i don’t really know how to respond to compliments well

thank you i guess

**Emile**

Np! We should all probably try to sleep again now tbh, it’s getting very late and insomnia or no I’m sure we all have things to do tomorrow.

🌩**storm**🌩

i’m still not tired but if you 2 wanna sleep i won’t keep you up

**Remy (rat boy)**

Yeah I’m gettin’ mcfuckin’ sleepy so o7 gn you two

**Emile**

Sleep well! I’ll try to too. Storm have a good rest of your night!

🌩**storm**🌩

i’ll try o7 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday mid-morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for virgil making a self deprecating/suicide joke

** _#general_ **

**Roman** 👑

Good morning, my beautiful subjects!

**Logan**

Roman, you realise you are not, in fact, an actual prince, right?

**Roman** 👑

Say that sentence again with more comma’s

**Logan**

-_-

**Remy** **(rat boy)**

The girls are fightiiiing

🌩**storm**🌩

lol

**Emile**

GUYS

I’m gonna dye my hair today what colour should I do

**Thomas**

Purple

🌩**storm**🌩

seconded

**Remy (rat boy)**

Pink

**Patton** ☀️

Blue!!

**Roman** 👑

RAINBOW

**Emile**

UUUUUH

I think I’ll go pink, it matches more of my clothes haha

Wait Remy isn’t your hair pink? It was in the drawing Storm sent

**Patton** ☀️

Which was FABULOUS by the way!!

🌩**storm**🌩

😳 thanks

**Remy (rat boy)**

Yeah but I’m dying it like, ocean colours tomorrow since the pink is pretty much all gone and blue and green is all I have at home

🌩**storm**🌩

oh fuck yeah i love oceans

i’d love to drown in one some day

**Patton** ☀️

D: you had better not!

🌩**storm**🌩

dw it was just a joke

**Emile**

Those kinds of self-deprecating jokes are very bad for your mental health! Jokes about wanting to die or hurt yourself end up tricking your brain into actually wanting to do those things/do them even more than you did initially, they are an awful coping mechanism and it’s best if you train yourself out of making them, even if that’s only by switching to sarcastically self-aggrandising jokes

🌩**storm**🌩

what are you, a therapist?

**Emile**

Yeah, actually!

🌩**storm**🌩

oh  
well i’ll uh, keep that in mind i guess

**Remy (rat boy)**

THANK YOU, emile, I’ve been trying to get him to quit that shit for years but he won’t listen to me because I’m not a professional so I clearly don’t know what I’m talking about or some shit like that

Like girl I do 👏 my 👏 fuckin 👏 research y’know

🌩**storm**🌩

yeah yeah shut it remington

**Remy (rat boy)**

That’s it I’m never buying you coffee again

**Roman** 👑

_Remington??_

**Remy (rat boy)**

Your brothers name is remus it’s literally not that different

**Roman** 👑

Hey I think his name is stupid too

**Remy (rat boy)**

Still

**Remus OwO**

I heard my name （╹◡╹）

🌩**storm**🌩

owo

**Remy (rat boy)**

Storm I hope you know that every time you do an emoji face thingy you give me like 10 kinds of whiplash

🌩**storm**🌩

why :3  
also they’re called emoticons

**Remy (rat boy)**

Because, hun, I know you irl and you really just do not seem the type to use a :3 face

**Roman** 👑

Oh? What’s he like irl?

**Remy (rat boy)**

Tall dark and sad

Like seriously this boy is 6’5 and I hate him for it every day

🌩**storm**🌩

well it’s not like i want to be this tall

i’d rather be 5’10 like u so i could just blend in lol

i look like a pencil that somebody’s hacked at with a knife

**Patton** ☀️

D:

🌩**storm**🌩

that wasn’t a self harm joke btw that was an i’m ugly joke

**Patton** ☀️

Still D:

**Remy (rat boy)**

Girl you are NOT ugly  
Seriously if I didn’t respect your privacy so much I’d send a picture of you just so these guys could see how not ugly you are

🌩**storm**🌩

i mean

i honestly don’t care if u do

only thing i don’t want them knowing is my name

because it’s even stupider than my face

**Emile**

Okay I got pink hair dye

Also your name is NOT stupid, it’s unique and I really like it!

**Roman** 👑

The only stupid names that exist are ones that start with rem

**Remy (rat boy)**

I’m gonna find out where you live and fill your entire bedroom with ping pong balls, floor to ceiling

**Roman** 👑

😳

**Logan**

How would you possibly acquire that many ping pong balls?

**Remy (rat boy)**

Oh you know

**Logan**

No, I don’t. That’s why I asked.

**Remy (rat boy)**

;)

**Roman** 👑

Well I’m suitably terrified now!

**Remy (rat boy)**

Good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this kinda stuff is so much easier on wattpad because of the in built writing thing because i can just switch stuff to bold n italic n whatever as i go along lol  
i _know_ i could technically write the chapters in ao3’s writing thing but it’s like, awkward and weird to write in y’know


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i’m using my art for any photos too so like,, if it’s lineless it’s a photo if it has lineart its a drawing. just to distinguish them. yeah  
also! i’m bad at talking so i probably won’t answer any comments but i have been reading them and here’s som hearts as a collective answer to all of them <3 <3 <3 <3 y’all are lovely

** _#photos_ **

**Remy (rat boy)**

*reveals that storm has a physical form* payback time  


**Patton** ☀️

AAAA YOU'RE SO CUTE

🌩**storm**🌩

i am not, i will fight u

**Roman** 👑

You’re so... edgy

🌩**storm**🌩

that’s more accurate

**Remy (rat boy)**

He truly is a big ole storm cloud of a boy

You can’t even tell how tall he is there he’s like, a whole head taller than me

**Roman** 👑

😳

🌩**storm**🌩

what’s that face supposed to mean

**Roman** 👑

It’s just a face

**Emile**

Awww Storm you’re not ugly at all!

You’ve got a very handsome face!

🌩**storm**🌩

aaaaaaa i’m even worse at responding to personal compliments

**Emile**

That’s okay!

**Roman** 👑

Okay we should go back to _#general_ now

**Emile**

Yeah alright!

* * *

** _#general_ **

**Roman** 👑

I would send a picture of myself but you all know what I look like already haha

**Deceit**

Hello all, apologies for my inactivity. I’m quite new to discord, you see.

**Patton** ☀️

That’s alright! It’s good to see you online!

**Deceit**

:]

**Thomas**

:3

Also hi I haven’t been very active either haha

Rehearsals hard

**Roman** 👑

True that

**Patton** ☀️

OOOO WE SHOULD PLAY ONE OF THOSE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER GAMES  
LIKE 20 QUESTIONS OR SOMETHING

🌩**storm**🌩

i’m down with that as long as we’re allowed to pass on questions we don’t wanna answer

**Patton** ☀️

Of course!  
Uuuuh I can’t think of a first question lol

**Emile**

How about we start with what’s everyone’s favourite colours? Mine’s pink!

**Patton** ☀️

Baby blue!

**Logan**

Dark blue.

**Roman** 👑

Red!

🌩**storm**🌩

purple

**Deceit**

Not yellow ;]

**Remy (rat boy)**

Green

**Thomas**

Also red

**Roman** 👑

Remus doesn’t use discord much but his is green

**Remy (rat boy)**

Are me and your brother secretly the same person

**Roman** 👑

Depends, how feral are you on a scale from 1-10?

**Remy (rat boy)**

I’d say maybe a 5 or 6

**Roman** 👑

He’s closer to a 9 or 10 so no, you’re not the same person lol

**Remy (rat boy)**

Dang, gotta step up my feral game

**Emile**

Okay okay next question

Favourite animal? Mine are hedgehogs!

**Deceit**

Ssssnakes

🌩**storm**🌩

cats

**Roman** 👑

Dogs!

**Patton** ☀️

Cats!!

**Remy (rat boy)**

Dikdiks

**Roman** 👑

That’s just because of the name isn’t it

**Remy (rat boy)**

Hey they’re also just rlly cute

But ya lol

**Emile**

Okay okay next question is uuuuh what’s your biggest fear

**Roman** 👑

WOAH that’s a jump

But mine is probably getting on stage and forgetting all my lines

🌩**storm**🌩

i’m afraid of a lot of things, idk what would be my biggest fear

**Remy (rat boy)**

Snakes (sorry deceit)

**Deceit**

😔 it’s understandable

I don’t know what mine is, probably abandonment or something to that effect

**Patton** ☀️

Mine’s spiders

Creepy crawly death dealers

**Emile**

Oh I forgot to say mine, it’s the pharaoh from courage the cowardly dog

**Patton** ☀️

Ooo yeah that guy is creepy

🌩**storm**🌩

_return the slaaaab_

**Emile**

AAAAAAAAA

Just kidding haha

🌩**storm**🌩

:p

**Remy (rat boy)**

Storm, dinners ready

🌩**storm**🌩

what is it

**Remy (rat boy)**

Lasaga

🌩**storm**🌩

fuck yeah

**Roman** 👑

You cook dinner for him??

**Remy (rat boy)**

Oh yeah he moved in with me a couple days ago

**Roman** 👑

Why?

**Remy (rat boy)**

Uuuuh

🌩**storm**🌩

my parents kicked me out because they found out i’m gay

the rest of our family had already effectively disowned remy for the same reason and they’d been suspicious for a while because of how much i hang out with him

and they found my tumblr

so yea

**Patton** ☀️

D: that’s horrible!

I’m your dad now

🌩**storm**🌩

nice  
honestly idrc my parents were asses anyways and i basically lived with rem as it was

**Remy (rat boy)**

Yeah it’s not that much different besides the fact all storms stuff is here instead of just most of it lol

**Patton** ☀️

Well it’s wonderful that you had a place to stay and that you two are sticking together!

🌩**storm**🌩

:p

anyways we’re gonna eat nd watch parks and rec now so laters

**Emile**

Cya!

**Thomas**

Have fun! I wanna watch p&r now lol

**Roman** 👑

If you do can I watch it with you

Both because I want to watch it and because Remus is being a royal pain in the ass

**Thomas**

Sure lol

**Roman** 👑

Yahoo! I’ll be there in 15 minutes

**Thomas**

o7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey feel free to tell me if any of these chapters are hard/confusing to read because of the formatting and i’ll try and figure out a better way to format it, i’m always scared of making stuff hard to read because like, what’s easy for me might be hard for other people yknow


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still Friday evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably unnecessary but i realised i got the definition of parasocial relationship wrong so i’m just, shoving this tiny bonus chapter in lol, u can skip it if u want ig

_ **DMs with 🌩storm🌩 and E(s)mile** _

**E(s)mile**

I know you’re busy, but can I talk to you for a minute? It’s nothing bad, I promise!

🌩**storm**🌩

uh, sure

what’s up?

**E(s)mile**

Well you mentioned something about parasocial relationships a couple days ago

🌩**storm**🌩

oh, yeah i think i got the wrong definition for that

i just meant like

i already had an idea of what everyone was like from their socials nd stuff

**E(s)mile**

Ah, okay! That makes sense  
Sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to follow up on that! You can go back to your dinner now!

🌩**storm**🌩

it’s alright, ttyl


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was really fun to write fsr lol  
also i’ve never drawn emile before and this was my first time like, properly drawing remy so that’s fun. i feel like i’m putting way too much effort into the art for this fic but hey it’s fun so whatevs

_ **#photos** _

**Emile**

Pinkification complete!  


**Patton** ☀️

AWWW IT LOOKS LIKE COTTON CANDY  
IM GONNA EAT YOUR HAIR NOW

**Emile**

Please do not!

**Thomas**

Oh you look adorable!

**Remy (rat boy)**

O///O  
<strike>_(this is then promptly deleted)_</strike>

**Emile**

What was that?

**Remy (rat boy)**

Nothing! You look cute!

* * *

_**DMs with dear rat boy and 🌩storm🌩** _

**dear rat boy**

VIRGIL

VIRGIL HELP

CODE RAINBOW

🌩**storm**🌩

IHBSUHBSS

ur so gay lol

**dear rat boy**

WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME EMILE WAS CUTE

OR HOT

HES BOTH

FUCK

🌩**storm**🌩

breathe motherfucker

**dear rat boy**

_HEE HOO HEE HOO_

🌩**storm**🌩

what the fuck

**dear rat boy**

IM BREATHINH

*BREATHING

🌩**storm**🌩

i’m very happy u don’t actually breathe like that

**dear rat boy**

He’s nice he’s funny he’s cute we both have insomnia

Does this man have a flaw

Virgil I think I’m in love

🌩**storm**🌩

remy u haven’t even known him a week

**dear rat boy**

I AM AWARE

I AM ALSO JUST

INCREDIBLY HOMO

* * *

_**#general** _

**Remy (rat boy)**

Hey so is like, everyone here gay

**Logan**

Well, at the very least me, you, Thomas, Roman, and Storm are, so it doesn’t seem unlikely.

**Remy (rat boy)**

O.O

**Emile**

I’m gay too!

**Patton** ☀️

Same!

**Remus OwO**

I’m gayer than a sparkly rainbow slinky shoved up a unicorns ass

**Roman** 👑

Was the visual necessary??

**Remus OwO**

Yes

**Roman** 👑

_Sigh_

**Deceit**

I haven’t quite worked out my sexuality, I think I may be asexual/homoromantic, or something along those lines.

**Remy (rat boy)**

We’re just a whole gaggle of gays up in this bitch then, neaterino

**Roman** 👑

Hang on

🌩**storm**🌩

the kingdom of the gays??

**Roman** 👑

Yeah, I quite like this server as just us so I figure the name doesn’t have to have anything to do with me anymore

I might make a seperate server to be the public one idk

🌩**storm**🌩

thank fuck for that

i mean

like i expected this to be a big server so it sounds dumb that i’m relieved it’s not gonna be

but like

**Roman** 👑

Nah I get it

You did say you would leave if more people joined, so now you don’t have to fret, my chemically imbalanced romance

🌩**storm**🌩

ye

also thanks for the nickname lol

hang on

**chemically imbalanced romance**

perfect

**Roman** 👑

I’m flattered úwù

**chemically imbalanced romance**

how long did it take u to come up with this anyways

**Roman** 👑

Thought of it the moment I saw you, I was just trying to find the perfect time to use it

**chemically imbalanced romance**

lol

* * *

_**DMs with dear rat boy and 🌩storm🌩** _

**dear rat boy**

Okay so he’s gay

Do you think I have a chance

🌩**storm**🌩

maybe idk

**dear rat boy**

Helpful!

🌩**storm**🌩

maybe you should do a face reveal of your own and see how he reacts lol

**dear rat boy**

_That’d be a good idea if I didn’t look like a swamp rat_

🌩**storm**🌩

u do not look like a swamp rat

just send a pic when ur hair dries like he did

**dear rat boy**

WHAT IF HE THINKS IM COPYING HIM AND CATCHES ON THAT I LIKE HIM

🌩**storm**🌩

hey hey i’m supposed to be the anxious teen here

u already said u were dyeing ur hair, he won’t think ur copying him

**dear rat boy**

Okay fair

I’m gonna blow dry it so it’s all fluffy and cute uwu

🌩**storm**🌩

don’t uwu at me

**dear rat boy**

_uwu_

🌩**storm**🌩

i’m scandalised

* * *

_**#photos** _

**Remy (rat boy)**

Ocean man take me by the hand  


**Emile**

A spongebob movie reference and a beautiful photo of a beautiful person? Amazing!  
You and your hair look gorgeous, I love the gradient!

**Remy (rat boy)**

Thank you :D

**Emile**

💙💚

* * *

_**DMs with dear rat boy and 🌩storm🌩** _

🌩**storm**🌩

bro

**dear rat boy**

IM GONNA CRY  
VIRGIL IM IN LOVE

🌩**storm**🌩

flourish

**dear rat boy**

Oh god what if he was just saying that to be nice

🌩**storm**🌩

well he could be

he did say i have a handsome face

i’m still thinking about that lol

**dear rat boy**

Okay but he also sent two hearts  
I’m 25 and yet I feel like a teenager again  
_VIRGIL I HAVENT EVEN KNOWN HIM A WEEK_

* * *

_**DMs with 🌩storm🌩 and E(s)mile** _

**E(s)mile**

Hey, Virgil? Can I ask you something about Remy?

🌩**storm**🌩

sure

**E(s)mile**

Are they single?

🌩**storm**🌩

i’m going to shit myself

yes they’re single

**E(s)mile**

I’m just gonna ignore the first part of that, thank you!

🌩**storm**🌩

np

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i should probably start writing somewhere how much time has passed in-story between chapters or something. because like mostly it’s each new chapter is a new day but there’s been a couple time’s where that doesn’t really fit yknow?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is gonna be irl because i can

_ **#general** _

**Remy (rat boy)**

Okay so me and storm have a slight dilemma

**Emile**

??

**Remy (rat boy)**

I have to go out of town for a couple days to go to my exes wedding (it’s a long story)

And storm doesn’t like being home alone

**chemically imbalanced romance**

i don’t need a babysitter, rem, it’s only one night

**Remy (rat boy)**

Doll, half the reason you spent so much time at my place before you moved in was because your parents were away so much

The first time they were away overnight you showed up at my door crying because you heard an unfamiliar bird

**chemically imbalanced romance**

SHHHH

IM AN ADULT NOW ITS FINE

**Roman** 👑

Where do you live? If you’re close enough you could just stay with me

Remus will leave you be if I feed him

**Remy (rat boy)**

I’ll dm you our address lol

**chemically imbalanced romance**

do i get no say in this

**Roman** 👑

Oh come on, it’ll be fun! We can watch Tim Burton movies

**chemically imbalanced romance**

which ones do u have

**Roman** 👑

Nightmare before christmas, corpse bride, alice in wonderland, coraline, probably a couple more I don’t remember

Any that I don’t have we can just pirate

**chemically imbalanced romance**

fuck yeah  
okay i’m into this now

* * *

_ **DMs with dear rat boy and 🌩storm🌩** _

🌩**storm**🌩

my turn to go into gay panic mode

**dear rat boy**

Oh yeah I forgot you had a crush on him LOL

🌩**storm**🌩

u didn’t forget, fuck u

**dear rat boy**

Okay yeah

What if he tries to give you kiss though, wouldn’t that be neat

But also if he tries anything you’re uncomfortable with don’t forget to punch him

🌩**storm**🌩

remy i’m gonna die

am i gonna have to tell him my real name

it’d feel weird to be called storm irl

**dear rat boy**

He doesn’t seem like the kind of person to force you to so it’s up to you

🌩**storm**🌩

okay

okay this is gonna be fine it’s fine

**dear rat boy**

That’s the spirit!

* * *

_ **#general** _

**Roman** 👑

I haven’t had a sleepover in years, this is gonna be so fun

**chemically imbalanced romance**

as long as we don’t have to have a pillow fight, yes

**Roman** 👑

Of course, Para-morose

**chemically imbalanced romance**

wh

oh paramore

i thought u were calling me a parasite

which like, rude

**Roman** 👑

Oh dear jysvdjg

I would never call someone as lovely as you a parasite

**chemically imbalanced romance**

aw, you’re making me blush

* * *

** _DMs with dear rat boy and 🌩storm🌩_ **

🌩**storm**🌩

IS HE FLIRTING WITH ME

**dear rat boy**

Wh

OH I JUST LOOKED AT THE CHAT

LOL

Who’s gay now

🌩**storm**🌩

still u

**dear rat boy**

Touché

* * *

_ **DMs with princeofrome and 🌩storm🌩** _

**princeofrome**

Remy said I can come pick you up now if that’s fine with you?

🌩**storm**🌩

ya that’s chill

how far away do u live anyways

**princeofrome**

Only like a 15min drive

🌩**storm**🌩

wild

aight i’ll shove some shit in a bag while i wait ig

**princeofrome**

Aight lit

🌩**storm**🌩

don’t say lit

**princeofrome**

You can’t tell me what to do

🌩**storm**🌩

when’s ur birthday

**princeofrome**

June 4th

🌩**storm**🌩

HA i’m older than u my birthdays in december so i win

**princeofrome**

Wh

How does that work

OH wait you’re still 19 so you’re turning 20 in December, gotcha

Anyway I gotta drive now so see you in 15 minutes ;p


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday morning at the start, Monday morning/late Sunday night ig at the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how this ended up over 2,000 words jgsvdjg  
Like i was gonna keep going too but I didn’t want it to get too long lol  
ALSO THANK FOR THE LOVELY COMMENTS ON MY ART youse are lovely 💙💙💙  
Also I removed the slow burn tag because this really is not slow burn. Is this rushing it? It may be rushing it, idk I’m aromantic idk what speed relationships are supposed to go I’m doing my best

“It’s gonna be fine, doll.” Remy gave Virgil a reassuring smile. Virgil was sitting on the steps up to their front door, fidgeting with the zipper on his backpack.

“What if he’s a serial killer and he’s just gonna murder me as soon as we get to his house?” Virgil bit his lip. Remy sighed and sat down next to him.

“Maybe I should’ve asked Emile if he could take you, if you’re so worried.”

“We’ve known these people for, what? Four days? How are you so chill about this.”

Remy shrugged, and Virgil sighed.

“Look, it’s gonna be fine, darlin’. If somethin’ happens, just call me or message Emile,” they layed a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “speaking of Emile, he’s friends with Roman, and I really doubt they’d be pals if Roman was a serial killer.”

“What if Emile is also a serial killer?”

“I’d still fu—“

“Remy!”

Virgil stared at Remy in shock for a moment before they both burst into laughter. They were still laughing when a sleek red car pulled up a minute later.

“Am I interrupting something?” Came a soft, smooth voice from above them. Virgil and Remy looked up to see Roman standing there, an amused look on his face. Virgil had to stop himself from staring. _How was he even prettier in real life? That’s not fair._

“Uh, no. We were just talking about Remy’s crush on Em—“

“_SHUT UP._” Remy screeched and hit Virgil on the arm, making the younger boy laugh again.

“Emile?” Roman asked. Remy groaned and flopped back on the porch.

“Hurry up and leave before I die.”

Roman laughed quietly and Virgil nearly died himself.

“Alright. Come, emo nightmare, we must _away_!” Roman declared, then turned on his heel and marched back to his car.

“Go, get your man.” Remy whispered. Virgil rolled his eyes and flicked Remy’s hand.

“Shut up. Later, loser.”

* * *

In the car, Virgil refused to look at Roman, and barely spoke to him. They’d only been driving for five minutes and had already fallen into an awkward silence.

“So... you don’t have to tell me, obviously, but may I know your real name?” Roman asked after another minute.

“Uh...” Virgil bit his lip and fidgeted with his sleeves, “it’s... Virgil.” He said, almost to quiet for himself to hear, let alone Roman.

“What was that?”

“My name is Virgil.” He blurted out. Roman smiled.

“_Virgil_... it’s different, I like it.” Romans English accent curled around Virgil’s name in a way that made his heart stutter. He turned to look out the window to hide his blush.

They talked a bit more about what movies they were gonna watch, and what they were gonna do for the rest of the day and the next. Remy was going to be out of town for two nights, so they had to think of a fair bit of stuff to entertain themselves.

* * *

When they got to Roman’s place, Virgil gawked up at the large, two storey house. They were in a classic white-picket-fence neighbourhood, so Roman’s family was clearly a lot better off than Virgil’s. Remy’s place was nice, but this was almost _fancy_. They climbed out of the car, and Roman laughed awkwardly at Virgils reaction to his home.

“Uh, yeah, my parents are kinda rich. I don’t let it get to my head though.”

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were a real prince.”

“We aren’t _that_ rich.” Roman chuckled. He had to crane his neck to look up at Virgil, he was even shorter than Remy. “Come on, let’s go inside and hope Remus doesn’t ambush us.”

Remus did not, in fact, ambush them. He did however stare silently at them and eat what Virgil hoped wasn’t real deodorant while they walked upstairs.

Roman’s bedroom was a lot bigger than it looked in his YouTube videos. He had a king sized canopy bed, because of course it was king sized, with yellow fairy lights strung between the poles that held up the sheer curtains that seperated the bed from the rest of the room. Fake vines covered in red paper roses twisted up the poles, as well as the legs of the desk in the corner of his room.

A large flatscreen tv was mounted on the wall above a cabinet filled with gaming consoles, video games, CDs, and DVDs. There were two doors that Virgil assumed led to an en-suite bathroom and a walk-in closet. The room was generally just all shades of red, gold, and creamy white, and anything that wasn’t sparkling felt like it should’ve been.

“Are you _sure_ you’re not a real prince?”

“Shut up.” Roman blushed and softly smacked Virgil’s arm. He was clearly embarrassed about his money, though Virgil didn’t know why. He certainly wasn’t ashamed of spending it. Maybe he’d ask about it later.

They decided to just watch movies for the rest of the day, laying on Romans _incredibly_ _comfortable_ bed and settling in for some Tim Burton.  
The bed was _so_ soft and comfortable that Virgil found himself almost drifting off to sleep multiple times (it didn’t help that he’d had another nightmare the night before and only got an hour of sleep).

He didn’t want to fall asleep in front of one of his idols in the middle of the day, that’d be an awful first impression.

“You seem like you can hardly keep your eyes open, are you alright?” Roman asked after a while. They were halfway through the third movie they were watching.

“Hm? Oh yeah, I just,” he yawned, “didn’t get much sleep last night, ‘nd your beds comfy.” He crossed his arms in front of him in the bed and rested his chin on them, blinking sleepily at the tv. Roman hummed, and startled Virgil by reaching up to run his fingers through Virgil’s hair. He pulled his hand back quickly.

“Sorry, that was weird.” He said. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Nah, ‘s okay. Just surprised me.”

After a moment, Roman was slowly carding his fingers through Virgil’s hair, and the emo had to fight to stay awake.

“You can sleep, if you want. I’ll cook us something for lunch and wake you up when it’s ready.” Romans smooth, deep voice almost put the taller boy to sleep on its own.

“M’kay, just don’t use tomatoes, ‘m allergic.” Virgil mumbled.

“I’ve never heard of someone being allergic to tomatoes before.”

“Mm, won’t kill me, just makes me sick.”

“Gotcha. Sleep now, storm cloud.”

* * *

When Virgil was woken up a couple hours later, he’d been turned around so his head was resting on Roman’s pillows and the blankets had been pulled up over him. He momentarily wondered how Roman did that because Virgil was probably heavier than him just based on height, but then _oh that’s right, Roman actually works out._

“I made cheesy pasta.”

“Fuck yeah.”

They ate the pasta downstairs, Remus joining them and explaining the deodorant was not, in fact, real. It was made of marshmallow fondant or white chocolate depending on his mood, and he only ate it to freak new people out. Remus did have a certain feral energy about him, but he was actually pretty chill when he wasn’t being weird on purpose.

One thing that Virgil found curious was the lack of parents. They didn’t seem to be home, and he’d never even heard Roman or Remus bring them up on Roman’s YouTube channel. If not for what Roman said earlier about them being rich, he’d doubt they even existed. He wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to make things awkward if it was a sensitive subject.

He needn’t have worried about that though.

“So, you’re probably wondering where our mum and dad are.” Remus grinned at him over his pasta. Roman’s eyes widened and he pointedly focused on his own food.

“Um, well I- kinda?” Virgil awkwardly stuttered after swallowing the pasta in his mouth.

“They live in England.” Roman mumbled.

“Why?”

“They didn’t wanna live here anymore, we did, we’re adults, so they moved back home without us.” Roman frowned at his pasta. Okay, obviously a sensitive subject then.

“They still send us money though, like $2,000 a week. It’s way too much for only two people, I think they’re just trying to make up for basically abandoning us.”

“Is that why you were embarrassed by the prince jokes?” Virgil turned to Roman.

“Eh, kind of. I dunno, it feels weird that we have all this money we haven’t earned. I’ve asked mum to stop sending so much before and she basically admitted she was trying to buy our love.” Roman said.

“For further context, they pulled the same shit all the time when they still lived here,” Remus continued, “they never payed any attention to what we actually like. Y’know all Roman’s video games and stuff?”

“I’ve never played most of them, and have zero interest in them. Only ones I’ve played are the Kingdom Hearts and Epic Mickey games, and that was only for the Disney aspect.”

“They just assumed he liked video games because he’s the more... stereotypical boy of us, shall we say,” Remus grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes, “to be fair, I’m not much of a gamer either.”

“Why are you two telling me all this?” Virgil asked. The twins shrugged.

“Someone may as well know, and you were obviously curious.” Remus answered. Virgil frowned and bit his lip.

“We don’t have people over very often, because people get curious,” Roman added, “that and we don’t have many friends. Thomas and Patton are our cousins, Emile used to be Remus’ therapist. They all already know, for obvious reasons.”

“Your parents sound fucking awful.” Virgil said.

“So do yours.” Roman looked up from his food at Virgil. There was something in his eyes that Virgil couldn’t quite place.  
He supposed that was the other reason they told him. They’d both been abandoned by the people that were supposed to love them unconditionally. Yes, they were all adults and were supposed to be able to make it on their own, but lack of parental support of the actual love and care variety had a bigger impact than one would think.

They finished their pasta in silence.

* * *

Virgil felt weird about sleeping in Roman’s bed with him, but Roman insisted for reasons Virgil couldn’t discern. Roman also apparently had no sense of decency because he got changed into his pyjamas right in front of Virgil. So yeah, now Virgil could say he’s seen Roman Prince-Duke in his underwear. _Wonderful_.

The bed was large enough that they could lay side by side without touching at all, which Virgil appreciated. After seeing how hot Roman really was, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle being too close to him.

“Hey, if I have a nightmare feel free to just kick me off the bed.” Virgil muttered when they’d been lying there for about ten minutes in the dark. Roman scoffed.

“I’m not going to do that. What kind of prince would I be if I did?”

“Oh? Then what do you plan on doing when I inevitably wake up screaming at 3am?” Virgil asked. There was a sarcastic, teasing tone to his voice that Roman didn’t think quite fit what he’d said.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

* * *

And they did get to it. But at 2am, not 3am.

Virgil sat up with a jolt, clamping his hand over his mouth to muffle his screaming. He took a moment to remember where he was as he sat there shaking.

_Roman’s house, in Roman’s bed. Not at school, not anywhere bad, it’s okay._

“Virgil?”

He stiffened when he heard Roman’s voice behind him.

_Oh no I woke him up, fucking hell. Get over yourself, dumbass._

The blankets shifted, and Virgil flinched when he felt a hand on his back, but didn’t move away.

“Hey, come on, just breathe.”

Virgil tried to focus on breathing, to calm down his hammering heart.

_4, 7, 8. 4, 7, 8. 4, 7, 8._

Roman was running his fingers through Virgil’s hair again. Virgil tried to focus on that instead of the thoughts racing through his head. He’d had a lot of practice getting himself through his own post-nightmare panics, but it was nice to have help.

“It’s okay, _you’re okay_.”

Roman coaxed him to lay back down, and held Virgil close to his chest, still stroking his hair.

“You’re way too chill about this for someone who basically just met me.” Virgil laughed softly after a while.

“Hmm, Remus gets nightmares too. Not as often as he used to, though.”

“Ah.”

Virgil was trying not to burst into flames because of how close he was to Roman. The shorter boy was just as soft and warm as Virgil thought he would be, and he ended up wrapping his arms around Romans waist against his better judgement.

Roman didn’t mind at all, and they fell back to sleep like that.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yeah this never had any hope of being a slow burn lol  
This is the most frequently I’ve updated a fic in years lol

When Virgil woke up the next morning, he felt like he’d gotten the best sleep he’d had in years. Roman was still curled up next to him, but if the fingers drumming on Virgil’s side were any indication, he was awake too. Roman was softly humming some Disney song that Virgil remembered but couldn’t quite place. This was really not how Virgil had thought meeting Roman would go, but he really wasn’t complaining.

“What song is that?” He mumbled, muffled by Romans chest.

“Once upon a dream, from Sleeping Beauty.” Roman’s voice was rough, and Virgil nearly died for the second time in two days because of one boy.

_Okay Virgil, don’t overthink that, it was probably just the first song he thought of. Nothing to do with you._

“Looking at you made me think of it.”

_Okay I’m fucked, that’s cool._

Virgil pulled back and opened his eyes to frown at Roman. He thought for a moment that Roman looked like an angel, sunlight from the window filtering through his auburn hair making it look like a halo, his tan, freckled skin taking on a golden hue. Virgil imagine he looked like a blind trash gremlin in comparison with how he was squinting against the glare. This is why his room has blackout curtains.

“Are you flirting with me?”

“What would you do if I was?”

Virgil didn’t know how to answer. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up.

“If I’m making you uncomfortable you can tell me, you know,” Roman sat up too, and looked up at Virgil, “I have been told before that I’m a bit _too _romantic.”

“You can’t spell romance without Roman. But nah, it’s fine. I’m just not used to it.”

“Flirting?”

“Positive attention,” Virgil screwed up his face, “from anyone besides Remy, I guess, but he doesn’t really count.”

“Well, I’d be happy to help you get used to it.” Roman smiled. He reached up a hand and gently brushed Virgil’s fringe out of his eyes. Virgil felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest and kill him, if his face didn’t catch on fire first.

“I think I’d be okay with that.”

* * *

When Virgil and Roman had showered and gotten dressed (Virgil was right about the doors being a bathroom and walk-in closet), Roman lay stretched out on the floor while Virgil looked through his impressive movie collection. A lot of them were left unopened, so Virgil assumed Roman’s parents got them for him. Apparently Roman didn’t like the Fast & Furious franchise.

Roman had put on a cropped hoodie and a pair of distressed blue jeans, and when he’d walked out of the bathroom in that Virgil had to force himself not to stare. He’d seen the outfit before in one of Roman’s videos, and a few times on his blog, but usually there was a shirt under the hoodie. Tight fitting, but still something.

Virgil, for his part, was just in a purple t-shirt, his usual black hoodie with purple plaid patches, and black jeans.

“Have you ever kissed anyone before?” Roman asked out of the blue after the conversation they were having drifted off. Virgil dropped the copy of La La Land he was looking at.

“What? Uh, no, why?”

“Really?”

“Um, yeah? I’ve never like, dated anyone and I’m not gonna kiss random people, so...” Virgil shook his head and picked the DVD back up, placing it back in the cabinet.

“You’ve never...? _How_?” Virgil was surprised at how shocked Roman sounded.

“I didn’t even have friends in high school, dude, let alone a boyfriend. Everyone thought I was weird and creepy, so they stayed away from me.”

“I don’t think you’re weird or creepy,” Roman rolled onto his stomach and perched his chin on his hands, “at least, not in a bad way.” Virgil blushed and turned away, feigning looking at more movies.

And then Roman asked a question that Virgil probably should’ve been expecting, but he was a gay idiot, so it took him by surprise.

“Would you _like_ to kiss someone?”

“Uh, well I- I mean, at this point I’m kind of... scared to? Like, scared I’ll mess it up somehow.”

“I wouldn’t- _I mean_, I’m sure whoever ends up being your first wouldn’t mind.” Roman was suddenly very interested in staring down at his carpet, but Virgil could clearly see how much he was blushing.

“Roman we’ve barely even met, how could you...?” Virgil didn’t want to say ‘_fall in love with me so quickly_’, but that seemed sort of conceited, so he let the question trail off.

“What can I say? I fall fast,” he looked up at Virgil with a lopsided smile, “especially for the tall, dark, and handsome types.”

“Stop fetishising tall people.”

Roman burst out laughing, curling in on himself. Virgil wondered if Roman would let him record him laughing some day. Roman didn’t laugh much in his videos so hearing it felt special. Especially knowing it was Virgil who caused it.

“I-I want that on my gravestone. ‘_Here lies Roman Prince-Duke, he died as he lived: fetishising anyone over six feet tall_.’” Now it was Virgil’s turn to laugh.

“How did you die, in this scenario?”

“Being stepped on by a giant, obviously.”

“Holy shit.”

They laughed for a few minutes longer, until tears were forming in their eyes. Roman had to sit up to avoid smooshing his face into the carpet.  
When they eventually calmed down, Roman suddenly turned back to serious mode.

“Really, though. Would you- I mean do you want to... um...” he looked down and fidgeted with his hands.

“If you’re gonna kiss me, just do it already, Princey.” Virgil said with an eye roll and more confidence than he felt. Roman looked up with wide eyes. He paused for a moment, then crawled closer to Virgil.

Virgil’s heartbeat sped up as Roman gently placed a hand on his jaw, tilting Virgil’s head down towards him.

And then their eyes were closed, and their lips were touching, and Virgil couldn’t _wait_ to tell Remy about this.

Virgil was pressed back against the cabinet behind him, palms pressed to the ground. He wanted to move them to Romans waist but wasn’t sure if that would be too much considering the lack of clothing there, so he left them where they were.  
Roman knelt between Virgil’s awkwardly long legs, one hand on Virgil’s jaw, the other pressed to Virgil’s chest and it really hit that _oh God, Roman is kissing me holy shit._

The kiss was soft, and only lasted a moment, but it was the best first kiss that Virgil could’ve dreamed of.

“How was that?” Roman asked quietly.

“Hmm, I’m not sure. We might need to do it again so I can give a solid rating.”

Roman rolled his eyes. He tilted his head to the side and kissed Virgil harder, and Virgil tried to follow his lead on it. He involuntarily moved a hand to Romans bare waist, and a shiver went through the shorter boy. Virgil went to pull his hand away, thinking he’d done something wrong, but Roman moved his hand back into place with a mumbled _leave it_.

After a few moments and Virgil trying to remember all the sappy romance movies Remy had made him watch, he had kinda gotten the hang of this whole kissing thing.

Then Remus burst into the room, because of course he did.

“Hey guys do you want— OH, _SPICY_!”

Roman practically fell backwards out of the kiss, but Virgil caught him by the waist and held him up. Virgil flushed bright red while Roman glared at his brother.

“Remus! _Knocking_! Do it, next time!”

“Sorry not sorry, but anyway what do you two want for breakfast? Besides each other, I mean.” He giggled.

“I don’t know, Virgil what do you want?” The twins both looked to Virgil, who for his part looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Virgil looked back and forth between them, “I- uh, I don’t- I don’t know? I don’t usually eat breakfast.”

“What?! But it’s the most important meal of the day!” Roman exclaimed. Virgil shrugged.

“I’ll just make crepes.” Remus said before turning to leave with a _use protection_ laughed out before he shut the door. Roman sighed.

“He sucks at crepes, they always just end up as too-sweet pancakes.”

Virgil giggled. Roman turned back to him with a smile.

“So...” Roman started, absently tracing Virgil’s cheekbone with his thumb, “what would you think about being my boyfriend?”

“I think that would be lovely.” Virgil mocked Roman’s accent, making the shorter boy laugh. “I don’t have to be in any of your videos now, do I?”

“Not if you don’t want to. Although, it might be fun to do one of those couples quiz things.”

“Let’s think about that when we’ve been together for more than thirty seconds.”

* * *

** _DMs with dear rat boy and 🌩storm🌩_ **

🌩**storm**🌩

remember when u said if roman gave me kiss that’d be pretty neat

well something pretty neat just happened and now i am have bf

**dear rat boy**

BRO?!

BRO

You’re literally a baby how did you get a boyfriend before me

🌩**storm**🌩

because i’m not a fucking coward

**dear rat boy**

Yes you are

But also so am I so like, fair

🌩**storm**🌩

you’d better ask emile out soon or i’ll do it for u

**dear rat boy**

Who of us was the one who brought up how little we know about these people

🌩**storm**🌩

there’s this wonderful thing called hypocrisy

**dear rat boy**

;/


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday early afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i’m writing these chapters & updating this way too quickly lol  
if it keeps going like this i might make some sort of update schedule so i don’t get too annoying

_ **#general** _

**Emile**

Storm, Roman, how’s the sleepover going?

**Remus OwO**

I walked in on them making out on the floor earlier!

**Emile**

That is not what I expected at all 😳

**chemically imbalanced romance**

remus wtf dude

**Roman** 👑

Dang I was gonna reveal that we’re together now by changing my bio on twitter and insta lol

**chemically imbalanced romance**

???

**Roman** 👑

It’s just a Thing, dw about it

**Thomas**

Awww, well congrats you two!

**Remy (rat boy)**

*wipes a tear from my cheek* they grow up so fast. It feels like just yesterday I was helping storm clean his sheets after he pissed the bed

**chemically imbalanced romance**

i am going to crazy murder you

also oh yeah about the uh

name thing

**Roman** 👑

You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to!

**chemically imbalanced romance**

nah it’s fine

my real name is uh

virgil

**Logan**

Ah, like the roman poet. Although his name was spelt as Vergil.

**Patton** ☀️

Oooooh that’s such a cool name!

Vergil reminds me of gerbil for some reason lol!

Now I want a gerbil

**Roman** 👑

Wait Virgil does that mean our names match

**chemically imbalanced romance**

i guess it’s a match made in

hell

because virgil is also a character in dante’s inferno

yeah

**Roman** 👑

Oh my God jhsojdnk

**Remus OwO**

Roman we get it, you’re a bottom, you don’t have to keysmash so much

**Roman** 👑

HEY

**Remy (rat boy)**

Does that mean roman is the only bottom here because he’s the only one I’ve seen keysmash

**chemically imbalanced romance**

he looks like a tomato rn lol

**Remy (rat boy)**

Dang, guess you can’t kiss him anymore

**chemically imbalanced romance**

😔

**Logan**

Why would that mean Virgil can’t kiss him anymore?

**Remy (rat boy)**

Baby boy’s allergic to tomatoes

**Logan**

But Roman is not actually a tomato.

**Patton** ☀️

It’s just a joke because he looks like a tomato, so it implies he then gains the... allergy powers? Of a tomato

**Logan**

Ah, I see. Yes I suppose that’s funny.

Also I do not think ‘allergy powers’ are a thing.

**Patton** ☀️

I know lol, I can’t think of the actual word. You got what I meant anyways so it’s fine!

**Logan**

Indeed.

**Roman** 👑

I hate all of you /j

I do actually hate Remy and Remus though

**chemically imbalanced romance**

you’d better say sike about hating remy or i’m breaking up with you /j

**Roman** 👑

Fine, I dislike them a lot

**chemically imbalanced romance**

much better

* * *

_ **DMs with E(s)mile and dear rat boy** _

**E(s)mile**

So did you see Virgil and Roman getting together at all?

**dear rat boy**

Virge has had a crush on Roman for ages lol  
I didn’t expect Roman to like,, reciprocate so easily but! My cousin is wonderful and cool so I’m not too surprised

**E(s)mile**

Hmmm

Just seems a little odd to me

I know Roman is a good guy, and I’m sure Virgil is too, but are you sure the ‘crush’ wasn’t just some kind of idol worship?

**dear rat boy**

Nah, Virge ain’t like that. I don’t even know if it was enough to classify as a crush, we just called it that for Ease Of Communication

Like he’s not obsessive or anything if that’s what you’re worried about

**E(s)mile**

Alright, I’m just being cautious

**dear rat boy**

We can just, keep an eye on them if it’ll help you feel better

**E(s)mile**

Yeah, it would

Idk I’ve had patients come in for couples counseling and most of their problems were related to the fact that they had entered into the relationship too quickly then realised they didn’t ‘work’ but never wanted to acknowledge it

**dear rat boy**

Yeah that makes sense. I’m sure it’ll be fine though, especially with us looking out for them

**E(s)mile**

Yeah

**dear rat boy**

I can’t believe all our dms so far are related to virgil lol

**E(s)mile**

How about we talk about you instead?

**dear rat boy**

Me?

**E(s)mile**

Yeah! Like do you have a job? Hobbies? I like learning new things about people!

**dear rat boy**

Uuuh I’m a barista at starbucks and my hobbies include watching rom-coms and being gay

**E(s)mile**

I think only one of those counts as a hobby lol

**dear rat boy**

You’re right, rom-coms aren’t a hobby they’re a lifestyle

**E(s)mile**

Lol

Why do you like romcoms so much?

**dear rat boy**

You’re the brain boy, psychoanalyse me

**E(s)mile**

You’re lacking romance in your own life?

**dear rat boy**

Bingo

**E(s)mile**

Do you have your eye on anyone in particular?

* * *

_ **DMs between dear rat boy and virge** _

**dear rat boy**

HELP WHAT DO  
_[screenshot of his chat with Emile]_

Also when did you change your username

**virge**

after i told everyone my name lol

also idk just be vague? do u want me to ask roman he’s better at this stuff probably

**dear rat boy**

Idk just help meeeee

**virge**

okay hi it’s roman

i agree with virgil, just be vague but like, flirty vague

**dear rat boy**

_What in the fresh crispy flying fuck does that mean_

**virge**

i dunno mate i’m doing my best here

**dear rat boy**

Gah you’re both useless

* * *

_ **DMs with E(s)mile and dear rat boy** _

**dear rat boy**

Maybe

Why do you ask?

**E(s)mile**

Hmm, no reason ;p

**dear rat boy**

Emile I hop you know you’re killing me rn

*hope

**E(s)mile**

Lol I have no idea what you mean :3

* * *

_ **DMs with dear rat boy and virge** _

**dear rat boy**

THIS MAN IS CUNNING  
_[screenshot of his chat with Emile]_

**virge**

oh my god jhsvhgs

**dear rat boy**

Roman why do you still have virgil’s phone

**virge**

HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW IT WAS ME

**dear rat boy**

Keysmash

**virge**

fuck

also he went to the loo lol

**dear rat boy**

I’m just gonna ignore the fact you just said loo

**virge**

well you’re really bad at ignoring things, then

**dear rat boy**

Shut your fuck

**virge**

anyways idk just flirt back! he’s flirting!

**dear rat boy**

I have never flirted in my life

**virge**

i believe in you

* * *

** _DMs with E(s)mile and dear rat boy_ **

**dear rat boy**

You know exactly what I mean, doll

**E(s)mile**

Doll? Are you southern or something

**dear rat boy**

Yeah, actually

**E(s)mile**

Ooo nice

**dear rat boy**

Nice?

**E(s)mile**

Yeah, I like southern accents

Reminds me of cowboys which reminds me of Steven Universe because of that one time Ruby was a cowboy so

Also just sounds nice :p

**dear rat boy**

Well I’d be glad to lend my voice to you any time you’d like

**E(s)mile**

How about over dinner tomorrow night?

**dear rat boy**

Why doctor, are you asking me on a date?

**E(s)mile**

If you’d like it to be a date, then yes :p

**dear rat boy**

I’m down for that

**E(s)mile**

Wonderful

* * *

_ **DMs with dear rat boy and virge** _

**dear rat boy**

_[screenshot of his chat with Emile]_

**virge**

NICE

IM PROUD OF U

roman is also proud of u and he just got pretty much the same screenshot sent to him by emile lol

HI ITS ROMAN I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT EMILE IS DOING THE TEXT EQUIVALENT OF SQUEALING

**dear rat boy**

I have a wedding to go to in like half an hour and I’m gonna be thinking about this the whole time

Darl you might have to stay at romans another night

**virge**

please don’t fuck emile on the first date

**dear rat boy**

Bold of you to assume that anyone except Emile himself can stop me

**virge**

i hate u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also! another thank you for all the lovely comments hjvdjhvd 💙💙💙  
i think i might actually limit updates to once a day at most because i know this is probably a lot, chapters for this are just really fun to write, especially when procrastinating writing other stuff. like my snow white and the huntsman au. it’s hard to write lol


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol/drinking warning for this. Remy spends the whole chapter drunk

_ **DMs with dear rat boy and E(s)mile** _

**dear rat boy**

HEYYYYH

Emile

Emile

You’re really pretty

**E(s)mile**

Are you drunk?

**dear rat boy**

I’d ast my exs wedding off course imd drinh

You ars rellsu pretys tho

**E(s)mile**

Would you still say that if you were sober?

**dear rat boy**

I have!!!! Ask virgie he’ll tell you

I think I called you cute

Or hot

I don’t remember lmao

**E(s)mile**

You’re pretty too

**dear rat boy**

EMIIIIIKE YOURE GONSA MAKE ME DCYR

CRY*

Lol e mike

An e boy named mike

**E(s)mile**

Lol

**dear rat boy**

HEY HAVE YOU MET MY COUSIN

HES SO COOL

HES SO TALL HES LIKE A TREE

**E(s)mile**

I have met him, yes. We’re in a server with him

**dear rat boy**

Oh yeah!

You sehoul d meet him irl he’s so tall

Hey how tall are you

**E(s)mile**

5’6

**dear rat boy**

Baby sized.......

OH MY GOSDG

You’re shorter than me so if I give uou one of my hoodies it’ll be too big and it’ll be so cute

**E-Mike**

I don’t think I’m quite short enough for that

**dear rat boy**

Omg you cahnged you’re name

And a lot of my clothes are too big on me any ways so it’ll still be cute

**E-Mike**

Do you want me to come pick you up or something

**dear rat boy**

Noooo because then I’ll try to kiss you or something dumb and I don’t want to be drunk for taht

**E-Mike**

You and Roman apparently share a habit of falling in love too fast

**dear rat boy**

You’re the only person I’ve fallen for this fast

Only you

I think the romcoms have messed with my view of romance tbh

**E-Mike**

Maybe

**dear rat boy**

I’m probably gonna regret this convo when I’m sober

I’ve changed my mind can you come pick me up

I’m sad

**E-Mike**

Alright, just tell me where you are

* * *

An hour and a half later, Emile found himself sitting in his car outside the weddings reception venue. Remy had told him to wait outside, so he did.  
They’d sent him the address for the venue and the hotel they were staying at so they could get their stuff and check out, they’d both agreed that Remy would be best off spending the night on Emile’s couch.

A few minutes and an _I’m here_ message later, Remy came stumbling out supported by one of the bridesmaids. He seemed to be crying. Emile stepped out of the car to take the sobbing mess off the poor woman’s hands.

“Thank you for coming to get him,” she smiled at him, an apology in her eyes, “I don’t know why Toby invited him, honestly. We all love Remy, but their relationship ended in a kind of weird place, so I’m not surprised this happened.”

“I don’t even like drinking.” Remy sniffled. He leaned into Emile's side. “You smell like strawberry milk... matches your hair.”

“Heh, thanks. Do you wanna get in the car?”

“Mhm.”

Emile guided Remy around to the passenger side and helped him into the car, going so far as to click in his seatbelt when he fumbled with it. Remy was smiling at him with a dopey look on his face, green and brown eyes half-lidded.

“You’re even prettier in real life. I think this is how Virgie felt when he saw Roman.” Remy giggled. Emile blushed.

“I could say the same about you.” This sent Remy into another fit of giggles. Emile fondly rolled his eyes and closed the car door, then walked back around to the drivers' side.

“How do you know him, anyway? He just kept going on about how the ‘_smart, pretty doctor man_’ was coming to rescue him.” The bridesmaid asked.

“Uh, this is gonna sound a bit weird, but we met in a Discord server the brother of one of my ex-patients made for his YouTube subscribers,” Emile smiled sheepishly, “as for the doctor thing, I’m a psychologist-slash-therapist.” She nodded in understanding.

“Friendship can happen in weird ways, sometimes.” She smiled. “Well, look after him, pretty doctor man.” She winked, then turned to head back inside. Emiles face was bright red when he climbed back into the car. Remy had seemingly fallen asleep.

* * *

After getting all Remys stuff and checking them out of the hotel, Remy had remained asleep the entire drive back to Emiles apartment. They got inside and Remy, still drunk and only half awake, collapsed on the couch still in his full tuxedo.

“Remy, do you wanna get changed into some pyjamas?”

“Do I look like I can move on my own? No, fuck you,” they grimaced, then added a quiet apology for saying fuck you.

“It’s alright,” Emile paused for a moment and bit his lip, “I could help you get changed? I dunno, I just can’t imagine sleeping in that is gonna be very comfy.” Remy opened his eyes and looked up at him.

“Hey, our first date’s supposed to be tomorrow, doll face,” they laughed awkwardly, but their face fell after a second, “’m sorry this is how we had to meet. I had all these grand ideas about usin’ my _southern charm_ to sweep you off your feet and us riding off on a horse into the sunset like cowboys or somethin’”

Emile laughed softly, “if it helps, I don’t mind. Ruby and Sapphire had a bit of an unconventional start to their relationship too.” That made Remy smile.

He sat up a bit too quickly and had to close his eyes in an attempt to stop the headache that hit him. Emile was by his side in a second and placing a steadying hand on his back.

“I-I think I do wanna change into my PJs,” Remy mumbled, “I feel like a Christmas ham in this thing.” He tugged at the jacket of his tux.

“Alright, I’ll go get your stuff out of the car.”

“What if you get murdered while you’re out there and you never make it back, and I’m left here wondering what happened to you?” Remy mumbled. He leaned heavily into Emiles side.

“I seriously doubt that’s gonna happen, but if you’re so worried you can wear my pyjamas.”

And that’s how Remy ended up in Emile’s Jake the Dog onesie, while Emile wore the matching Finn the Human one.

Remy had collapsed on the couch again immediately after Emile had (very awkwardly) helped him get changed, and was fondly tucked under some blankets by the doctor. Emile left a glass of water and an aspirin on the coffee table then headed to bed himself, but not before messaging Virgil to let him know what happened.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday morning

When Remy woke up the next morning, he couldn’t remember where he was or how he got there, but he was dressed as a cartoon dog so he figured it was a safe bet that Emile was involved somehow.

He gratefully took the painkillers and drank the whole glass of water in one go, then flopped back onto the couch, ready for death to take him.  
Death had other plans that day, however (he was on a date with Destiny), so Remy was instead greeted by Emile.

“Hey, Rem,” Emile said, voice soft, “how you feeling?” Remy opened their eyes and looked over to see Emile leaning in the doorway, already dressed and ready for the day. He had a small smile on his face.

“Like I’ve just been shat through the eye of a needle by a rabid unicorn.” Remy grumbled. Even they didn’t know what they were saying, but Emile seemed to understand.

“Do you remember what happened last night?”

“Uuuh... no? Kind of. I didn’t try to kiss you, did I?”

Emile laughed, “no, you didn’t. I’m glad, that’d be an unfortunate first kiss,” he paused, a smirk on his face, “I guess that’s gonna have to wait for tonight.” Remy’s eyes widened.

“You still wanna go on a date with me?” He asked, incredulous.

“Of course I do,” Emile walked over and crouched next to Remy’s head, “you having a kind of shitty night isn’t gonna change my mind, Remy.” _Please keep saying my name_. Emile tilted his head curiously. “I just noticed, you have heterochromia.”

“Yeah, it’s the only hetero thing about me,” Remy smirked as Emile burst out laughing.

“How many times have you told that joke?”

“Too many for it to still be funny.”

Emile smiled and brushed Remy’s messy hair out of his eyes.

“I have to go to work soon, so you can have free reign of my apartment today, I guess.”

“You’re not gonna send me home?”

“Well I need the car, so you wouldn’t get far anyway,” he paused as he seemed to realise something, “how did you get to the wedding, anyway? You didn’t say anything about a car last night.”

“Bus from home to the hotel, taxi from the hotel to the wedding, carpooled to the reception.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “So before I go, what do you wanna do for our date?” Emile smiled. Remy thought for a moment.

“Do... we have to go out somewhere?” He asked tentatively. Emile shook his head.

“Nah. How does eating microwave mac & cheese and watching cartoon movies and rom-coms in our pyjamas sound?”

“Absolutely fuckin’ perfect.”

* * *

_ **#general** _

**Remy (rat boy)**

Morning gamers, I’m alone in Emile’s apartment all day should I move all his furniture an inch to the left

**Roman** 👑

Yes

**chemically imbalanced romance**

no

**Remy (rat boy)**

Thanks, gays, very helpful

**Thomas**

Why are you in Emile’s apartment?

**Remy (rat boy)**

Kinda long story but I messaged him last night because I was drunk and sad so he came and picked me up from the wedding reception

Okay not that long of a story

**Thomas**

Ah

**Patton** ☀️

Aw :(

**Remy (rat boy)**

I’m alright now, I’m chillin

**Patton** ☀️

That’s good!

Oh, I just realised we never finished that game of 20 questions!

**chemically imbalanced romance**

eh, stuff like that always feels weird and forced to me

**Deceit**

Agreed, it is a rather odd way to get to know people

**Patton** ☀️

That’s fair!

What if we each say a fun fact about ourselves and leave it at that!

I’ll go first, I’m allergic to cats

**Logan**

But they’re your favourite animal?

**Patton** ☀️

Unfortunate, I know :(

**chemically imbalanced romance**

y’all already know i’m allergic to tomatoes so uuuuh  
i had a really big obsession with furbies when i was a kid but my mom is scared of them because of something that happened when she was a kid so i was never allowed to have one

i still really want a few tbh, the furby customising side of tumblr has me yearning

**Roman** 👑

I’ll buy you as many furbies as you want

**chemically imbalanced romance**

keep going like that and i may just fall in love with you

**Roman** 👑

😳

Okay fun fact about me is my youtube channel used to be solely epic fail compilations

**chemically imbalanced romance**

oh my god

**Deceit**

Does me being deaf and knowing ASL count as a fun fact?

**Patton** ☀️

Yeah!

**Remus OwO**

How do you watch videos if you’re deaf?

**Deceit**

Subtitles exist for a reason :p

**Remus OwO**

Oh that makes sense, sorry

**Deceit**

It’s alright.

**Remus OwO**

Fun fact about me... I collect nutcrackers!

**Logan**

Interesting.

I suppose mine could be that I immensely enjoy Crofter’s jam, especially the loganberry flavour.

I actually named myself after loganberries.

**Roman** 👑

?

**Logan**

I’m transgender.

**Roman** 👑

OH I’m dummy jhbsjhbdkh

**Remy (rat boy)**

My fun fact is that I’m secretly a rat in a human-shaped mech suit

Like ratatouille but robots

**chemically imbalanced romance**

i can’t believe you’ve been lying to me all this time

how could u

**Remy (rat boy)**

I’m sorry you had to find out this way

I have a fun fact about Emile: he’s cute as fuck

**chemically imbalanced romance**

that’s gay

**Remy (rat boy)**

You’re gay

**Roman** 👑

Uh, yeah, I sure hope he does

**chemically imbalanced romance**

xD

**Remy (rat boy)**

Okay I’ve moved all of Emile’s furniture just a little bit

Only in the living room though

**Emile**

Heeeey D:

**Remy (rat boy)**

FUCK IM BUSTED

**Emile**

;(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u tell i didn’t know how to end this lol
> 
> anyways i love all of youse and ur comments you’re all so nice *blows u all a platonic kiss*


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday late morning to early afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Updating again? What a fucking shocker /s  
Idk this is fun to write and I’m Motivated for it so if people get annoyed by the updates then that’s on them lol
> 
> Also what if I made a sanders sides discord server loosely based around this fic would that be fucked up or what
> 
> No warnings for this chapter except the fact that I overuse parentheses lmao

“So, Virge-o-lantern, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?” Roman asked. He was laying on his back on his bed with his head hanging off the side, watching Virgil lying on the ground with his eyes closed. They’d gotten bored of movies pretty quickly.

“I dunno, I never really do much besides read, watch YouTube, draw, and sit on Tumblr scrolling for hours on end.”

“Ah, what a riveting life you lead,” sarcasm laced Romans voice, “what if... we went shopping?”

“Shopping.” Virgil opened his eyes and looked over at his boyfriend with a blank expression.

“Well, it’s not like I’m lacking in funds,” Roman rolled his eyes, “and it’s something to do.” Virgil seemed to think for a moment, then sighed.

“Fine, I guess.”

“Yay!”

* * *

“What do you think of dresses?” Roman asked. He was currently scrutinising a 50’s style, black and white polka dot dress that he thought would look wonderful on Virgil if he could just find one the right size for the lanky giant. They were in a small faux vintage/retro store in the local mall.

“Uh, they’re fine I guess? I never really thought about wearing one myself.” Virgil shrugged. He knew Roman was open to wearing pretty much whatever, so the question didn’t really surprise him. He realised how odd it was that he knew so much about Roman when Roman barely knew anything about him, and figured he should remedy that at some point.

Roman held the dress he was inspecting up, “what do you think of this dress?”

“It’s cute I guess, but I don’t think you’re gonna find much in my size, Roman.” Virgil smirked. Just then, the young woman working the register walked over. She was the only person working, actually. It was a very small store.

“Can I help you two gentleman with anything?” She smiled pleasantly at them.

“Ah, yes, does this come in giant size?” Roman asked, holding the dress up against Virgil to show how small it was compared to him. Virgil facepalmed.

“Dude, it doesn’t- it doesn’t matter that much.” Virgil sighed.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we have any dresses long enough for you, sir,” the girl said, looking genuinely apologetic.

“It’s alright, really.” Virgil soothed her with a smile. Roman sighed in resignation and put the dress back.

“Fine, maybe we can find something else for you in here.”

Roman ended up getting a pair of red heart-shaped sunglasses (that Virgil was surprised he didn’t already own) and a pair of red faux leather pants for himself. Virgil picked out a pair of distressed black overalls that were supposed to be full length, but didn’t even reach his ankles (but they fit besides that, so it was fine) and a black and white striped shirt with holes artfully cut into it, the gaps filled with lace.

Roman didn’t quite understand his boyfriends love of clothes that looked like they’d been attacked by a chihuahua, but hey, who was he to judge?

They were walking around the mall, looking for other stores they could go into, when Roman realised Virgil wasn’t following him anymore. He turned around to see the tall boy had stopped in front of a random clothing store and was gaping at something inside. When Roman went back to see what it was, he understood why.

“Oh that is _very_ you.”

They were in front of a gothic clothing store, looking up at a dress. The dress had everything Virgil seemed to love in clothes; purple, patchwork, dark colours... yeah that was about it, but it was still perfect.

“If that doesn’t fit me, I’m suing God.” Virgil muttered, and Roman laughed.

“Do you wanna try it on?”

“What do you think?”

“Let’s go.”

It fit. Virgil stood in the changing room, jeans still on under the dress, and marvelled at the fact that it actually fit. Thankfully it didn’t have those boob pocket things a lot of dresses had, that’d look weird.

“Virgil? Have you got it on?” He heard Romans voice from outside the small cubicle.

“Uh, y-yeah.”

“Does it fit?”

“God gets to keep her money, just this once.” Virgil said, opening the door. He bit his lip and asked what Roman thought. Roman was just staring.

“Oh you look amazing!” The store clerk said, clapping their hands with glee. Roman was still staring. It was getting a bit concerning.

“Hello, earth to Princey?” Virgil said, snapping his fingers in front of the catatonic Brits face. He finally snapped out of it and shook his head quickly.

“Sorry, I was just stunned by how gorgeous you are.” Roman smiled and fluttered his eyelashes at his blushing boyfriend. The store clerk laughed.

“I’m gonna guess you’re buying it?” They asked.

“Hell yeah we are,” Roman said, “after I take a picture to show our friends.”

* * *

_ **#photos** _

**Roman** 👑

So we decided to go shopping

  


**Remy (rat boy)**

HOLY SHIT

How the fuck did you manage to find something so Virgil

**chemically imbalanced romance**

idk, goth stores just Get Me ig

**Patton** ☀️

OH YOU LOOK STUNNING

**chemically imbalanced romance**

u////u

**Roman** 👑

Anyways back to shopping I wanna buy you more pretty things!!

**Remy (rat boy)**

😳

**Roman** 👑

What’s that for?

**Remy (rat boy)**

Idk lol

Shop responsibly

**Roman** 👑

o7

* * *

Roman and Virgil ended up getting lunch at the food court after they bought the dress, then going to see what else they could buy.

Roman ended up with a new gold bomber jacket, red mascara (‘if you cry with that on it’ll look like you’re crying blood’ - Virgil), and a pair of half red half white shorts (split down the crotch. As in the colours, there wasn’t a split in the crotch,, okay moving on) on top of what he’d already gotten.

Virgil got a new pair of purple converse since his old ones were held together by sheer force of will, some sparkly purple eyeshadow (at Romans insistence), a Gerard Way Funko Pop, a pair of chunky boots with a slight heel (‘as if you need to be any taller!’ - Roman when Virgil picked them out) and a new lip piercing (a stud shaped like a little skull).

They also got snacks and a couple gifts for Remus and Remy, then headed on home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’know I had this whole description written out for Virgil’s dress but then I realised I was just gonna draw it anyways lol
> 
> Also sorry the ending is kinda lame?? I’m bad at ending chapters lol


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty short and kinda lame but I didn’t wanna drag it out too much so yeet
> 
> Also I did end up making a discord server lol https://discord.gg/eN4MU4H is this meta? It might be meta

That evening when Emile got home Remy had, on top of moving all the furniture slightly, created a pillow and blanket fort in his living room.

“Uh... Remy?” Emile asked when Remy himself was nowhere to be seen.

“I’m in my new evil lair!” Remy called from the depths of the pillow fort. Emile set his bag down beside the door and kneeled down to look into a gap in the blankets that he assumed was the entrance. Remy was sitting inside looking at something on his phone, Emile’s plush toys scattered around him. So that’s why they asked if they were allowed to move them. They were back in their own clothes, consisting of an oversized grey jumper tucked into a pair of black shorts.

“Ah yes, you and Stitch seem to be doing some very dastardly deeds.” Emile said, trying to be sarcastic but amusement laced his voice.

“Yeah, we’re plannin’ universal domination.” Remy looked over and gave Emile a cheeky grin. “You comin’ in or not?”

Emile rolled his eyes and crawled into the tent. It was filled with pillows, cushions, plushies, and possibly almost every blanket Emile owned. The doctor settled himself in next to Remy.

“So, what’s all this about then?” Emile asked. Remy gestured at the tv, which also been very carefully covered by the blankets so it didn’t fall down.

“I thought we could watch movies in here instead of just sitting on the couch!” Remy smiled, but it faltered after a second, “unless you want me to clean all this up, becaus—“ he was cut off by a soft kiss to his cheek. His eyes widened as Emile pulled back and shot him a goofy smile.

“I love it!” Remy’s face lit up and their grin returned.

Remy went to get changed into pyjamas while Emile put the food in the microwave. Remy came out in a pair of dark grey flannel pyjamas, the top plain except for the word _sleep_ written in cursive on the left breast, and the pants covered in moons wearing sunglasses.

Emile got changed into his own pyjamas (a Pikachu onesie) while Remy picked out the first movie, and soon they were both huddled under the blankets, bowls of mac and cheese in their laps, and the Steven Universe movie playing on the tv. Remy hadn’t watched it yet, so they were excited.

Emile was enjoying watching Remy reacting to everything. So much so that he ended up not-so-subtly watching them instead of the movie. Emile had seen the movie at least 5 times by now, it didn’t matter if he missed just this one time.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Remy said without looking at Emile. The doctor flushed and turned back towards the tv. Then he got an idea.  
He crawled out of the fort, ignoring Remy asking where he was going. He grabbed his phone and went back in.

“What’s that for?” Remy tilted his head, confused. He watched Emile do something on his phone for a moment before he spoke.

“Well, you said to take a picture, so,” he took his glasses off, leaned over, and kissed Remy on the cheek, snapping a picture and leaning away before Remy could even properly react. Remy then did the verbal equivalent of a keysmash while Emile calmly set the photo as his phones home screen, trying to hide his own blush.

“Emile, you can’t just _keep doing that_!” Remy squeaked.

“Mmm, I just did.”

Remy huffed and leaned back against the couch, trying and failing to focus on the movie again. Emile set his phone to the side and ever so casually wrapped an arm around Remy’s shoulders, making him turn even redder.

By the time they were three movies in, Emile had laid down so his head was resting in Remy’s lap. Remy had calmed down, used to the physical affection now, and was idly fiddling with a lock of Emile’s hair.

“Are you gonna send that photo to the discord server?” Remy asked after a while.

“Mmm, nah.”

“Cool.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These bitches gay! Good for them! Good for them.
> 
> Remy’s hair is so hard to draw with the new style I’m trying why did I make it a gradient


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday morning

_ **#general** _

**Remus OwO**

It is Wednesday my dudes

**Roman** 👑

aaaaaAAAAAAA

**chemically imbalanced romance**

i hate both of u

**Roman** 👑

😳😔

**Remy (rat boy)**

Good morning gamers

I am having difficulty typing

Does anyone wanna guess why

**chemically imbalanced romance**

emile fell asleep on u?

**Remy (rat boy)**

Yup!!

This blanket fort was a good idea tho it’s very comfy

**chemically imbalanced romance**

blanket fort? are u 25 or 5??

**Remy (rat boy)**

Yes

**chemically imbalanced romance**

ofc

**Remus OwO**

Guys I’m going shopping y’all want anything

**chemically imbalanced romance**

high self esteem

**Remy (rat boy)**

Circulation back in my right arm

**Roman** 👑

Our parents’ love

**Thomas**

A gay Disney prince

**Deceit**

The souls of the innocent

**Remus OwO**

I can probably provide the first two but that’s it

Virgil you’re really cool and you should feel good about yourself you big ole bean pole

Remy just push Emile off (or kill him idk)

**chemically imbalanced romance**

😳

**Remy (rat boy)**

Noooooo he’s too cute to die

Plus he talks in his sleep and it’s funny

He sang the entirety of the steven universe theme song earlier

Very badly because he’s asleep but still

**chemically imbalanced romance**

omg

**Thomas**

At this rate I’m gonna end up the only single person here smh

**Roman** 👑

Yeah probably

**Thomas**

;(

* * *

Remus was in the produce aisle when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see a man with blond hair, bright amber eyes, and strange markings on his skin (that Remus guessed was either a birthmark or vitiligo) looking at him oddly.

“Uh... hi?” Remus raised an eyebrow at him. The man seemed to flounder for a second, and Remus just watched him silently as he pulled out his phone. The man typed something, then Remus felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

* * *

** _DMs with hiss hiss bitch and the duke_  
**

**hiss hiss bitch**

Hi :p

* * *

“Wh- _oh_!” Deceit smiled when the realisation dawned on Remus’ face. Remus grinned and typed out a reply.

* * *

**the duke**

Fancy meeting you here

**hiss hiss bitch**

Sorry if I scared you, I figured getting your attention first would be better than just sending ‘I see you’

**the duke**

Lol yeah

So, you here for anything in particular?

**hiss hiss bitch**

Not really, just general grocery shopping

**the duke**

Same, despite going out yesterday Roman and Virgil didn’t actually get any substantial food

Wanna do it together? :}

**hiss hiss bitch**

Sure

* * *

So they did their shopping side by side in silence — bar when Remus forgot Deceit was deaf and tried to talk to him, but that only happened a couple times. They continued talking via Discord DMs, but not much, just because it was kind of annoying.

Apparently they had the same taste in sugary confections, both getting snake candy and the same kind of pop tarts, among other things.

A while later, they had finished most of their shopping and decided to eat lunch together in the food court. Deceit hadn’t had KFC in years due to lack of people to order for him and he really wanted some, and Remus was hungry too so he was happy to oblige. While Dee could talk, it apparently felt weird, so he tended not to.

Suddenly, Remus had a thought.

* * *

**the duke**

Hey is your name actually Deceit?

**hiss hiss bitch**

No

**the duke**

Can you tell me what it actually is?

**hiss hiss bitch**

Uh

It’s kind of stupid

Hence why I go by a different name online, like Virgil did

**the duke**

My name is Remus, can’t get much stupider than that

Or Remington lol

**hiss hiss bitch**

Your name isn’t stupid

Remington is a bit though

My name’s Dolion (don’t ask me how to pronounce it because I don’t know)

Don’t tell anyone else

* * *

Dolion was shuffling awkwardly in his seat after saying his name. Remus smiled at him.

* * *

**the duke**

I like it, it’s unique :}

**hiss hiss bitch**

^_^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Yes_ I know I’m writing everyone very out of character _no_ I don’t care
> 
> Also if ur wondering where Deceits name came from https://www.behindthename.com/name/dolion/submitted


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wednesday early afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah this is kinda lame but whatever lol  
I do have ideas for stuff I just gotta figure out how to get there, so there’s gonna be some dumb chapters in between
> 
> Also warning for kinda vague self harm/scar mention

“I should probably go home soon, huh.” Remy mumbled. Emile was still resting on their chest half asleep; he’d been hit by insomnia so he had stayed up later than Remy.

“Mmm, nah, you’re too warm to leave.”

“That don’t make any sense, darlin’.”

“Your face doesn’t make any sense.”

“What?”

“It’s too pretty. Doesn’t make sense.”

Remy blushed and pushed Emile off of him, despite the doctors groan in protest.

“You can keep sleepin’, I’m gonna go have a shower.” At this, Emile’s eyes finally opened.

“Aww, without me?” He asked, trying and failing to seem seductive, but Remy appreciated the effort. Either way, their face turned bright red and they spluttered incoherently for a few seconds before Emile assured them he was kidding.

“You’re too much of a flirt for your own good.” Remy said, with an accompanying eye roll.

“Only with you.” Emile winked.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, doc.” They crossed their arms and raised an eyebrow at him.

“That’s not how you say ‘everywhere’.” Emile leaned over to give Remy a soft kiss on the jaw, making them go even redder. “Go shower, stinky.”

Remy huffed and pushed the laughing doctor away, then crawled out of the blanket fort.

Emile laid on the ground for a few minutes after Remy had gone, the only sound being the shower running in the background.

_Am I a hypocrite for being worried about Roman and Virgil’s relationship when I entered into this one almost as quickly? I guess Remy and I aren’t actually together, but still. It’s kind of a different situation, though. Maybe I’m thinking too hard about this, especially since I just properly woke up._

Emile got up and out of the fort, deciding to cook something for breakfast.

Remy got out of the shower just as Emile was plating the last of the bacon pancakes. They had their arms crossed awkwardly, and Emile realised it was the first time he’d seen them in short sleeves (helping them get changed into the Jake onesie didn’t really count because at the time Emile had been doing his best to not look at Remy).

“Are you okay?” Emile frowned as he slid one of the plates over to Remy. He hoped they weren’t a vegetarian, he’d completely forgotten to ask. It seemed fine though, as Remy accepted the food with a small thanks.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just forgot to grab my sweater before gettin’ in the shower, feels kinda weird without it.” They laughed awkwardly and uncrossed their arms, but still looked just as uncomfortable. A quick glance at Remy’s arms told him why. They were littered with faint white lines, clearly years old, but Remy was still self-conscious of them. Emile decided not to say anything about them and changed the conversation topic.

By the time they’d finished breakfast, Remy was visibly more comfortable, knowing that Emile wasn’t going to interrogate him about the scars. It wasn’t something he was necessarily ashamed of, he just didn’t like talking about it. He put his jumper back on as soon as he could, though.

* * *

When they arrived at Romans house to pick up Virgil, he was sitting between Roman and Remus on the front steps. He was in the dress Roman had bought for him, his legs covered by black and white striped stockings rather than jeans.

They stood up when they saw the car, and Emile and Remy watched Roman give some long, poetic speech about how he would miss Virgil from then until they next met. When he was done he pulled the flustered emo down for a kiss while Remus fake gagged.  
They pulled apart after a few seconds, Roman said something that made the three of them laugh, then Virgil was happily bouncing to the car.

“Gee, doll, this is the happiest I’ve seen ya in months,” Remy said with a smile as Virgil clicked in.

“Yeah, Roman’s really cool. A bit obnoxious, but cool. Also hi Emile.”

“Hi, Virge! You look lovely today.” Emile smiled at him. Virgil blushed and gave a quiet thanks.

“So... what’d you two get up to last night?” Virgil leaned forward to ask, a devious look on his face. Despite having actually done nothing, both of them turned bright red and started spouting nonsense, which caused Virgil to fall back in his seat and laugh.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmm more filler but i’ve kinda started setting up logicality at least lol
> 
> also yes i made logan australian just because i’m australian and i relate to him a lot no i don’t take criticism /j

_ **#general** _

**Patton** ☀️

It’s so weird how we all live so close to each other! Like we could all just go hang out right now!

**Logan**

Except me.

**Patton** ☀️

Why’s that?

**Logan**

I live in Australia.

**Patton** ☀️

Aw :( is that why you’re not super active?

**Logan**

Yes, along with the fact I don’t have notifications turned on for this server.

**Patton** ☀️

That’s fair!

Maybe if we all hang out you can join us in a video chat or something!

**Logan**

That could be nice.

Nobody usually thinks to include me in ‘hanging out’ because I’m so awkward and I talk too much outside of the internet.

**Patton** ☀️

Aww :( you can talk to me any time you like! I love listening to people!

**Logan**

Thank you. 

**Deceit**

I’d say I love listening to people too but, well,

**Roman** 👑

Wh

Oh right you’re deaf 

**Deceit**

:p

* * *

_ **DMs with dad time and Logan** _

**dad time**

Hey what’s your favourite animal?

**Logan**

... hedgehogs.

**dad time**

Oooo they’re so cute!

*hands you this*  


**Logan**

:O Thank you.

**dad time**

UwU

**Logan**

...

OwO

* * *

_ **DMs with virge and princeofrome** _

**princeofrome**

I miss you ❤️

**virge**

that’s gay

**princeofrome**

Virgil, I have some bad news

We’re both gay 

**virge**

SHIT

nah but i miss u too

or maybe i just miss having a teddy bear because it helps with nightmares, who knows

**princeofrome**

I can’t believe you’re only with me for my cuddling ability

**virge**

and ur fame, obviously 

**princeofrome**

‘Fame’ I’m like a G list youtuber at best I’m barely famous

**virge**

prospective fame then

**princeofrome**

-_-

**virge**

:3

**princeofrome**

anyways  


**virge**

o///o <3

**princeofrome**

You’re adorable 

**virge**

i’m pretty sure i could literally squish you like a bug

**princeofrome**

😩 hot

**virge**

ROMAN

**princeofrome**

Sorry jshdvsyd


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday morning (Friday night in Australia)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a longer chapter I’m writing (I’m basically writing out a whole YouTube video that’s hopefully entertaining to read) and it’s taking me a while so here’s just a whole chapter of Pat and Logan talking to each other in the meantime lol

_ **DMs with dad time and Logan** _

**Logan**

You said I can message you whenever, right?

**dad time**

Yeah. Are you okay?

**Logan**

Not really

My roommates are yelling and it’s scaring me

I sound like a child, this is ridiculous 

**dad time**

It’s not ridiculous! Yelling is scary :(

Do you have any music you could put on to block it out?

**Logan**

Shit that’s a good idea

Why didn’t I think of that

My brains all muddled

**dad time**

That’s alright, you’re stressed out! It happens!

**Logan**

Yeah

Okay I put music on I feel a bit better

I can still hear them because I can’t find my headphones but it’s better

Thank you

**dad time**

It’s no problem :p 

Can I ask why the yelling scared you so much, or is it just loud noise in general??

**Logan**

It’s a bit personal

**dad time**

That’s okay! Sorry for asking

**Logan**

It’s fine

I know my problem is essentially fixed but can we keep talking?

**dad time**

Yeah, of course!

Hmmm

What’s your favourite movie?

**Logan**

The Imitation Game

I dislike how Alan Turing’s relationships were misrepresented, but it’s still interesting to watch

**dad time**

That’s the guy who invented computers, right?

**Logan**

Simply put, yes

**dad time**

Cool! My favourite movie is the spongebob movie :p

**Logan**

That fits.

**dad time**

What’s that mean?

**Logan**

You just seem like you’d enjoy childish stuff like that.

I’m not saying that that’s a bad thing, by the way. 

**dad time**

Yeah, for someone who gets everyone to call him dad I’m very in touch with my inner child lol

A lot of people have also asked me if the dad thing is like, a kink thing?? Like no I just like the idea of having kids but I can’t yet so I just pretend adopt all my friends

**Logan**

Fair enough.

I don’t know how I would feel about being a father.

I’ve rejected the idea of having children for years simply because everyone expects me to by virtue of being afab, and I suppose that’s as close to teen rebellion as I ever got.

**dad time**

Yeah, my cousin got that kind of stuff a lot :( she ended up moving out of state and blocking her parents numbers for multiple reasons, but that was one of them

Kids aren’t right for everyone, sometimes they’re not even right for people who have kids! Like crappy ableist parents like mine lol

**Logan**

What did your parents do?

**dad time**

I have ADHD and they were really mean about it :( whenever I couldn’t focus on something or the executive dysfunction decided to hit they’d just go on about how I wasn’t trying hard enough and refused to let me get help with it

I’ve moved out on my own now so I’ve been getting help! I can’t really talk to my parents anymore though, it always ends up with them accusing me of faking it my whole life and saying I’m only doing well now to spite them or something 

Sorry I went on a bit of a ramble there! 

**Logan**

It’s alright, I understand that. 

My parents were pretty bad too, but I’m not quite as comfortable sharing everything.

**dad time**

That’s alright!

Man, this conversation got weird lol

Uuuh do you have a favourite video game?

**Logan**

Minecraft. I enjoy making complicated redstone machines.

**dad time**

Oooo I love Minecraft 

Terraria or Stardew Valley are my favourites :3

**Logan**

They are both very colourful and visually appealing.

I enjoy the music in Terraria.

**dad time**

Ye it’s really nice

**Logan**

My roommates seem to have stopped yelling.

I’m going to go to sleep now.

**dad time**

Okay! Goodnight, and sweet dreams! <3

**Logan**

<3


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop still working on the long chapter and my other fic lol so here’s more filler  
might even just give up on writing the whole video out   
not gonna scrap the chapter though because i already drew something for it lol
> 
> also! another thank you for lovely comments 💙💙 ily all

_ **#photos** _

**Patton** ☀️

Face reveal for people who haven’t seen it because why not :p  


**Logan**

Oh.

**Patton** ☀️

Oh?

**Logan**

Um

Hey is it possible for a human to make the Windows startup noise

**Roman** 💜

Logan? You alright, buddy?

**Logan**

Yes. 

**virgil** ❤️

ah, gay panic. i know it well

**Patton** ☀️

Ô.Ô

**Logan**

It’s not

Uh

Patton, you’re adorable

**Patton** ☀️

Awww thank you!

Oh it went offline :(

**virgil** ❤️

he’s probably just lurking

* * *

_ **DMs with virge and Logan** _

**virge**

hey, u good lol?

**Logan**

Yes, I think so.

I just didn’t expect Patton to be so

Cute.

It shouldn’t be possible for someone to be so nice and so physically attractive at the same time.

**virge**

yeah, unfortunately it happens a lot

i wasn’t expecting roman to be as nice as he is fsr

like youtubers r usually kinda fake but he’s not

**Logan**

Indeed.

I don’t know what I’ll do if I develop feelings for Patton.

**virge**

best advice i can give is just roll with it

i know what it’s like to stress out over emotions and it doesn’t do anything besides make u feel like shit

doesn’t mean u have to tell him or anything but just

idk accept it ig. u don’t have to do anything abt it

idk what i’m talking about lol

**Logan**

No, that’s quite sound advice. Thank you.

**virge**

np

* * *

_ **#general** _

**Remus OwO**

Vibe check!

**Deceit**

*bites into you and injects you with venom*

**Remus OwO**

😳 hot

**Deceit**

😳

**Remy (rat boy)**

Why is everyone so gay today smh

**Emile**

Why wouldn’t I wanna be gay when you exist

**Remy (rat boy)**

I’m not even sure what that means and I’m ready to kiss you

**Roman** 💜

Have you 2 even kissed yet

**Remy (rat boy)**

Besides him smoochin me on the cheek, no

**virgil** ❤️

wild

**Emile**

Not everyone kisses people before they’re even dating them, boys

**Remus OwO**

Oh snap

**virgil** ❤️

december 20th 7:05pm

**Remus OwO**

Wh

**Remy (rat boy)**

Virgil what did I say about the vague death threats 

Also isn’t that the day after your birthday

**virgil** ❤️

yeah

**Roman** 💜

What is with you and Remy and weird threats

**virgil** ❤️

lol

**Remus OwO**

Now I’m scared for my life

**virgil** ❤️

you should be! i know where u live :)

**Remus OwO**

ÓwÒ


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20 whole chapters O.O  
Also! The long chapter is finally here... because I cut it kinda short lol  
It was taking so long and I didn’t want it to drag out so I just cut it off at a point I thought worked lol

_ **#general** _

**Roman** 💜

HELP idk what to do for a video this week

I’ve been doing way too many Disney song covers lately 

Maybe a challenge video?? But those are kinda stale

**Remy (rat boy)**

Lol do a couples tag with virgil

**virgil** ❤️

ówò

**Roman** 💜

OwO

Virge do you wanna

**virgil** ❤️

sure, why not

just no saying my real name, i still think it’s stupid

**Roman** 💜

I love your name, but fineeee

**virgil** ❤️

;p

**Roman** 💜

HEY what if we did that video at your place in your room instead of mine

**virgil** ❤️

eeeeh

my room doesn’t even have a proper light it just has the purple fairy lights

**Roman** 💜

That’s fine I’ll bring a torch or something 

Flashlight

You know what I mean

**Patton** ☀️

OH I JUST NOTICED YOU GUYS HAVE

THE HEARTS

ARE EACH OTHERS FAVOURITE COLOURS

**virgil** ❤️

ya

**Patton** ☀️

THATS CUTE

**Roman** 💜

UwU

**virgil** ❤️

also yeah fine we can do the video here

i should probably clean my room

aka shove all my clothes from the floor into my closet because i am not getting rid of the spiderwebs

**Roman** 💜

Fair enough!

I’m gonna go through The Interwebs and see if there’s any tags I like

* * *

“Okay so, unfortunately most of the questions I found sucked,” Roman said from his reclined position on Virgil’s bed, “or were for people who have clearly been in a relationship longer than us, so I kind of had to cherry pick relevant ones. Which I think is the point anyway? I found a list with over a hundred and I doubt they expected us to answer them all.”

“Pff, yeah.” Virgil paused for a second. “Also I thought about it more and I decided I’m fine with using my real name. I just won’t read the comments.” Roman grinned at him.

“Okay! I’ll just delete any that make fun of you anyway, though I doubt they will.”

Roman got up to set up his camera, then they both sat on the bed and they were ready to start.

* * *

Roman: Greetings, ladies, lords, and nonbinary royalty! As you probably saw in the title, I’m doing the boyfriend tag... thingy, today! With my boyfriend! Boyfriend, introduce yourself!

_(He gestures towards Virgil) _

Virgil: Um, hi? I’m Virgil.

_(He grins awkwardly at the camera)_

R: Yes! And you all hopefully already know who I am. If not, hi, I’m Roman, nice to meet you.

V: Can we just get on with the video?

R: Blue and mellow out, stormcloud. Yes, we’ll get on with it.

V: Wait, was that a reference to The Used?

_(Roman lifts his phone into frame)_

R: Yes. First question! Who’s my celebrity crush?

V: Oh, uuuh... Bo Burnham?

R: I- why? Why him specifically?

V: I dunno dude, only thing I know about your type is ‘tall’.

R: Are you ever going to let that go?

_(Virgil looks directly at the camera)_

V: I am 6’5. If I stood up right now you’d get a lovely view of my crotch, he straight up mentioned my height as something he l—

R: Okay, we get it! Take another guess, it’s not Bo Burnham.

V: I literally can’t think of any other tall celebrities.

R: Okay your hint is that he’s a manlet.

V: Daniel Radcliffe?

R: How did you get that??

V: I dunno, you like Harry Potter. It was either gonna be him or Elijah Wood.

R: I also would’ve accepted him so you wouldn’t have been wrong.

V: Okay so that’s one point for me. Now you have to guess mine.

R: The uuuh, what’s his name... Gerard Way?

V: Yeah, I’m predictable. 

R: Yeah. Next question, what town did I grow up in?

V: Lon...don?

_(Roman looks at the camera like he’s on the office)_

V: What?! I don’t know British... places...

R: I grew up in Norfolk, but my parents were from London. I basically trained myself to speak with Heightened Received Pronunciation by watching a lot of period English tv shows.

V: Speak with what now?

R: ... Posh.

V: Ah. What does your normal accent sound like?

R: I am not doing that on camera.

V: Fine. Guess where I grew up. Hint: it’s very easy.

R: Here?

V: Yup. Not saying the town name for f***in’, safety reasons or whatever.

R: Yeah.

V: Okay what’s the next Q?

R: Would I rather write a poem for you, or _serenade you with a love song_?

_(Roman shimmies closer to Virgil and leans on his arm as he sings the second part of that)_

V: I think just you singing that makes it obvious, you’d sing a love song.

R: Yeah, heh. And I’m gonna guess you’d go poem?

V: Ja.

R: Okay next, what colour are my eyes?

_(He covers his eyes with his hand)_

V: Warm brown, and they kinda look red in certain lighting.

_(Roman removes his hand from his eyes and gives Virgil a Look)_

V: What? I pay attention. Okay what colour are my eyes?

_(He closes his eyes and falls backwards on the bed)_

R: They’re like... an almost purple grey? Maybe it’s just because you wear so much purple and it reflects in them or something, but they’re definitely grey.

V: Okay, that was almost more specific than what I said, but correct.

_(He sits up and opens his eyes)_

R: How would you describe our first kiss?

V: I dunno, it was my first kiss full stop so I don’t have like... anything to compare it to, description-wise. Does that make sense?

R: Yeah. Well, I thought it was nice. You got a real nice... lips. Yeah.

V: Thank... you?

R: I think that was a compliment, yes. Okay moving on, would you sleep with my brother to save my life?

V: I wouldn’t even sleep with you to save your life.

R: I don’t know how to feel about that.

V: Would you sleep with my cousin to save my life?

R: I don’t think they or Emile would let me.

V: Yeah, you’re probably right.

R: Next, what part of your body is my favourite?

V: My legs because they make me tall and you have a tall people fetish.

R: I— 

_(He sighs)_

R: I walked right into that one.

V: You really did. Okay well like. Flip that question and reverse it.

R: Missy Elliott reference? Really?

V: Just answer the question.

R: I actually have no idea. My gorgeous face?

V: Eh, good enough. Next!

R: What’s my middle name?

V: Uuuh... shit, I dunno. Francis?

R: Francis?? Roman Francis Prince-Duke???

_(Romans voice gets higher as he speaks and he looks offended)_

V: How am I supposed to know!?

R: I’ve said it on camera before.

V: You think I remember things? Fuck you.

R: Okay, that’s fair. It’s Apollo.

V: I didn’t think your name could get any more fancy-sounding, yet here we are.

R: Shush, my parents are weird.

V: Okay, try and guess my middle name.

R: Gosh, I don’t even know your last name...

V: Yeah, you do.

_(Roman looks at Virgil, confused)_

V: Storme, with an ‘e’ at the end. Why do you think I go by that online?

R: I thought you were just being edgy. 

V: Nah. Well yeah, but nah.

R: ... Okay. I’m gonna guess it’s something nerdy and mythology-based just because your first name is... is it Phoenix?

V: How the f**k did you get that??

R: Wait, I got it right?

V: Yeah! What the sh*t!

R: I don’t know! 

* * *

They answered several more questions before ending the video. Virgil was genuinely smiling when they finished, having had a lot more fun than he thought he would. Roman switched the camera off after doing his outro, then turned to Virgil.

“So, what do you want to do now?” 

“Make out until Remy inevitably walks in then runs away screaming?”

“That works.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That fake screenshot took me ages to get looking right lol
> 
> Also all info on british accents I got from some random YouTube video, ‘blue and mellow’ is a reference to the song ‘blue and _yellow_’ by the used, and I think that’s all the notes needed


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bigger time skip than usual because roman has an update schedule gosh darnit

_ **#general** _

**Patton** ☀️

GUUUUYS THAT VIDEO WAS SO CUTE

**virgil** ❤️

o///o

**Remy (rat boy)**

Roman I would never sleep with you

**Roman** 💜

The feeling is mutual!

**Emile**

I haven’t seen the video yet

**Roman** 💜

Oop khsbjhdb 

**Remus OwO**

‘I wouldn’t even sleep with you to save your life’ is fucking iconic

**Deceit UwU**

There’s no subtitles yet 😔

**Roman** 💜

I’m adding those now, dw! I keep forgetting to do it before I upload lol

**Deceit UwU**

That’s alright, I didn’t have time to watch it when you first uploaded anyways :p

**Remy (rat boy)**

Why is everyone getting matching nicknames

Emile, match with me

**Linguini**

Okay

**Remy**

Perfect

**Patton** ☀️

Hey Logan

Logan

**Logan** 🌙

Yes?

**Patton** ☀️

YESSSS

**Logan** 🌙

:)

**Thomas**

Hey can I add someone here

**Roman** 💜

You just want someone to have a matching nickname with, don’t you?

**Thomas**

Yeah

**Roman** 💜

Fair, go ahead

_—> thejoanglebook hopped into the server. Kangaroo!!_

**Logan** 🌙

Oh hey, Australian welcome message

* * *

_ **#intros** _

**thejoanglebook**

Name: Joan  
Age: all grown up   
Pronouns: they/them  
Socials: thejoanglebook on Tumblr  
Extra: pee is stored in the balls

* * *

_ **#general** _

**Thomas**

Wonderful first impression, Joan

**thejoanglebook**

;D

So we’re doing matching nicknames?

**Thomas**

Yea

**Creeper (Joan)**

:)

**Aw man (Thomas)**

Sigh

**Roman** 💜

So we back in the mine

**Remy**

Got our pick axe swinging from side to side

**Linguini**

Side side to side

**virgil** ❤️

fingers in his ass

fingers in his ass

kanye west he likes

**Roman** 💜

😳

**virgil** ❤️

big fingers in his ass

**Logan** 🌙

I regret being here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did this chapter have a purpose? not really, but hey, joan’s here! i probably won’t add any more of thomas’ friends except maybe talyn idk


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuesday night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi welcome to the most effort I’ve put into any chapter of anything ever
> 
> Fake discord screenshots are both annoyingly hard and scarily easy to make
> 
> Oh there’s also 3 whole drawings
> 
> Also also Patton is kinda drunk about halfway through this so warning for that

_ **#general** _

**Roman** 💜

Okay so the comments on the boyfriend tag video are a mix between people congratulating us on being together and people being surprised my boyfriend is goth/emo

**virgil** ❤️

huh

**Roman** 💜

And no comments on your name except someone saying it reminds them of supernatural because there’s an angel named Virgil in it

There’s also a really weird amount of people surprised that I’m gay, and a few asking if it’s a really late April Fool’s joke which. No.

**virgil** ❤️

uh, i sure hope it’s not a joke

**Remy**

If this whole thing was a joke I’d have to hang Roman from a tree by his dick

**Roman** 💜

Remy what thE ACTUAL FUCK KJSNIHSB

Holy shit

Good thing it’s not a joke I guess 😳

**virgil ❤️**

i’m still in awe at the fact there’s people that watch u but don’t know ur gay

like if u were in a lineup of other gay men and i didn’t know any of them or u and i was asked to point at the gay one, i would point at u

**Roman** 💜

There’s simpler ways to say ‘you’re the gayest person I’ve ever laid eyes on’ you know

**virgil** ❤️

yeah but like

fuck u

**Roman** 💜

😳

**Remus OwO**

Ugh get a room you two

**virgil** ❤️

we would if people wouldn’t keep walking in on us anyway

**Remus OwO**

That happened one time

**Remy**

Nah I’ve walked in on them making out too lol

When I got home from work the day they filmed the video

**Linguini**

Ó.Ò

**Deceit UwU**

Hey should I do a face reveal?

Remus already knows what I look like but nobody else does.

**Logan** 🌙

If you did that would leave me as the only person here whose appearance remains a mystery. 🤔

**Deceit UwU**

What if we did it at the same time so there’s no weird buildup and we just get it out of the way?

**Logan** 🌙

That sounds reasonable.

* * *

_ **#photos** _

**Deceit UwU**

Beep. (I took this this afternoon because new shirt)

**Logan** 🌙

Uh, boop?

My roommate took this when he took me out to lunch the other day, apparently me smiling is rare enough that it’s worth documenting.

**Patton** ☀️

AAAAAAH YOURE BOTH SO HANDSOME

EVERYONE IN THIS SERVER IS BREATHTAKING

**virgil** ❤️

someone send keanu

**Roman** 💜

I gotchu

**virgil** ❤️

thanks for the very crunchy keanu 

**Remus OwO**

I love you both

**Logan** 🌙

I

Am not used to this many positive comments on my appearance 

**Deceit UwU**

Same

**Remus OwO**

Well you should both get a lot more then

WAIT DEE I JUST NOTIFED YOUR TONGUE

**Deceit UwU**

I am very dedicated to snakes 

**Remus OwO**

Holy shit that’s so cool

**Deceit UwU**

I have snake bit piercings too I just don’t wear them a lot because it makes it hard to eat

**Remus OwO**

That’s kinda hot 😳

**Deceit UwU**

😳

**virgil** ❤️

**Remus OwO**

Oh shut up

**Remy**

Hey dee can I ask you something?

**Deceit UwU**

Is it about the fact I look like the kind of cat someone would very creatively call Oreo?

**Remy**

Um

Yes

**Deceit UwU**

It’s a birth mark that covers about half my body 

It’s kinda splotchy on my arms so a lot of people think it’s vitiligo at first glance but nah my skin’s just Like That

**Remy**

Oh wild

* * *

_ **#art** _

**virgil** ❤️

ok so like i realised i’ve drawn roman one whole time in my life and it was a shitty doodle on my history homework so i decided to uh

**Roman** 💜

_VIRGIIIIIIL HOLY FUCK_

YOU MADE ME LOOK SO PRETTY

**virgil** ❤️

u are pretty

**Roman** 💜

AAAAAAAAAAA

**Remus OwO**

I just heard him audibly squeal

Which like, reasonable because this is awesome

I’m gonna steal your hands

**virgil** ❤️

pls don’t i need these

**Remus OwO**

Too bad! They’re mine now

**virgil** ❤️

noooo don’t steal my hands ur so sexy haha

**Roman** 💜

D:

**Remus OwO**

I’d say I’m a ladies man but that doesn’t really apply here

Dude magnet

**virgil** ❤️

april 3rd 2021 5:46pm

**Remus OwO**

STOOOOOP

* * *

_ **DMs with dad time and Logan** _

**dad time **

Logaaaaan

I like your face

**Logan**

Uh

Thank you

I like yours too

**dad time**

:D

I think you made me gayer

**Logan**

I’m not sure if that’s possible but I’m flattered 

**dad time**

Lol you’re so cool

Sorry I’ve had a little bit to drink I’m a bit

Fuzzy

BUT I’d tell you you’re cool even without that because it’s true

**Logan**

You’re really cool too 

**dad time**

AAAAAA

I love you

* * *

_ **DMs with Logan and virge** _

**Logan**

Virgil I am having a slight dilemma.

**virge**

?

**Logan**

Help.

He’s apparently slightly drunk.

**virge**

bro is he flirting with you

**Logan**

I don’t know, but I think so.

I don’t know how to flirt.

**virge**

neither do i, unfortunately. all i’ve got experience with is romans version which is a whole lot of serenades outside my window and leaving flowers on my doorstop

which is both physically impossible for u and just doesn’t seem like ur thing

**Logan**

Indeed.

**virge**

idk just compliment him back when he compliments you ig? maybe say nice stuff about specific things you like about him? i could ask remy for advice but he’s about as hopeless as i am

**Logan**

Fair enough.

I think you’re better with advice than you give yourself credit for.

**virge**

oh, thanks

i do try lol

* * *

_ **DMs with dad time and Logan** _

**Logan**

I hold a great amount of affection towards you too, Patton.

**dad time**

Platonic or romantic?

Sorry that was probably 

Too much

I’m gonna go

**Logan**

No, it’s okay. I believe this kind of conversation is going to have to wait until tomorrow when you’re completely sober.

**dad time**

Wait really

Okay you’re right this is gonna be a tomorrow convo lol 

I need to sleep anyway

Goodnight

**Logan**

Sleep well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was gonna give Deceit vitiligo but it’s usually symmetrical so it wouldn’t really work, so birth mark it is!


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wednesday afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo something short :p

“Hey Remus, d— what are you doing?” Roman had poked his head into his brothers room to see him sitting on the bed with his laptop open, hands waving in front of him and a look of concentration on his face. He dropped his hands and slammed his laptop closed when he saw Roman.

“Absolutely nothing whatsoever,” he said in a tone that implied he was definitely doing something, “why do you ask?”

“Remus.” Roman stared at his brother for a few seconds before he caved.

“Fine! I’m trying to learn ASL so I can talk to Do- Deceit properly instead of just texting him if we hang out again.” Roman’s eyes widened.

“Remus I think that is literally the most thoughtful thing you’ve done in your entire life.”

“I’ve also been trying to figure out screensharing on Discord so we can watch movies and talk to each other without him having to look away from the subtitles and miss something. Though I may just be overthinking it on that one.” Remus frowned in thought.

“Are you in love with him or something?” Roman laughed softly.

“Ugh!” He fell back against his garishly sparkly bright green pillows, “it’s only a bit of a crush, it’s fine.” 

“Okay I was joking but you know what, Godspeed you gay gremlin.”

“Thanks. What did you come in to ask, anyway?”

“Oh, right! Do you want me to make you lunch?”

“Yeah.”

“Gherkin, peanut butter, and cauliflower sandwich?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

_ **DMs with virge and princeofrome** _

**princeofrome **

An interesting development has occurred 

**virge**

?

**princeofrome **

Remus has a crush on Deceit

**virge**

wow, thomas really is gonna be the only single person in the server at this rate

**princeofrome **

Well, we don’t know that Deceit feels the same way

Aaand you seem like you know something that I don’t 

**virge**

logan likes patton 

he keeps asking me for advice lol

**princeofrome **

Why wouldn’t it ask me? You said it yourself, you can’t spell romance without Roman!

**virge**

ur obnoxious 

**princeofrome **

... okay that’s fair, actually

Patton is usually as open as I am when he likes someone, so if he likes Logan back I’d be very surprised. He hasn’t said anything to me at all

**virge**

huh (p_-)

**princeofrome **

WHAT is that

**virge**

a face

found out that the japanese keyboard has a kaomoji thing so i’m gonna start utilising it to its full potential (๑･̑◡･̑๑)

**princeofrome **

That one is horrible

**virge**

（╹◡╹）

**princeofrome **

AH

**virge **

(^з^)-♡

**princeofrome **

Okay I like that one 

**virge**

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

**princeofrome **

knnskdjn

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

some of these are adorable

* * *

_ **DMs with the duke and hiss hiss bitch** _

**the duke**

Hey Dolion

Hey

**hiss hiss bitch**

Gosh, it feels weird to be called that online (not bad weird, just weird)

Anyways, what’s up?

**the duke**

Do you

Want to

Watch

A movie together (over discord screenshare)

**hiss hiss bitch**

Why did you have to send that in four messages?

**the duke**

Because I’m quirky like that :}

**hiss hiss bitch**

Fair enough.

What movie did you have in mind?

**the duke**

Well I mostly like musicals but I figured that’d be a bit pointless  
So how about the breakfast club?

**hiss hiss bitch**

I’m down for that, I’ve never seen that movie before though I’ve read good things about it.

Why over screenshare specifically?

**the duke**

Iiiii figured it’d be easier for us to talk to each other while watching it and you won’t have to look away from the screen and miss any of the subtitles

**hiss hiss bitch**

Oh

**the duke**

Oh?

**hiss hiss bitch**

Usually people aren’t that considerate, they just put on the subtitles and then have conversations about the film without me

**the duke**

Well that’s rude :{

Gimme like 5 minutes to set this up then we can watch it :}

**hiss hiss bitch**

Alright, I’m gonna get some snacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it’s generally rude to talk during movies but remus seems like the type tbh  
and hey sometimes people wanna watch something and chat at the same time, or someone has questions or whatever. idk
> 
> y’know you wouldn’t be able to tell because i barely bring up jobs in this but virgil and deceit are the only unemployed people in this story  
emile’s a therapist, remy’s a barista, remus is probably a mechanic or something like that, logan works in a bookstore, patton works in a petshop, and roman and thomas do youtube  
idk about joan lol
> 
> also hey i completely forgot that roman and thomas were rehearsing for a play at the start of this i should work that back in at some point lol


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wednesday evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it’s been so long since the last chapter & this is pretty short lol, i’ve been distracted and kinda out of writing juice lately. hopefully the next chapter(s) will be out sooner since i’ve given myself some direction here

_ **DMs with dear rat boy and E-Mike** _

**dear rat boy**

Hey so

Do you wanna go on a proper date

That isn’t just eating pasta in your floor watching cartoons

**E-Mike**

I think that was a perfect date, what do you mean?

I don’t really do fancy restaurants and I don’t like movies much unless they’re cartoons.

I’ve been wanting to go see Frozen 2 but I haven’t had the time or I’m too tired to go out

So chilling at home is like

Good

**dear rat boy**

Fair enough

Do... you wanna come over to my place then?

Virgie is going over to Roman’s for the night so

**E-Mike**

😳

**dear rat boy **

Lol

**E-Mike**

Yeah alright I’ll come over

* * *

_ **#general** _

**virgil** ❤️

GUYS

ROMAN GOT ME LIKE 10 FURBIES

**Patton** ☀️ 

:OO

**Roman** 💜

They look a bit like shit because the whole point is that he’s gonna be able to customise them 

One of them doesn’t have skin

**Patton** ☀️ 

Well that’s terrifying!

Are you gonna send pictures?

**virgil** ❤️

i’ll send them as before/after shots as i finish customising them

god i’m gonna watch so many fucking youtube tutorials

not that i don’t already but y’know 

i fucking love furbies

**Remy**

Fuckin flourish hun

**virgil** ❤️

i am going to kiss my boyfriend now

**Roman** 💜

😳

**Remus OwO**

Thats like

Gay

**Deceit UwU**

Remus,

**Remus OwO**

Well I’m not wrong

**Deceit UwU**

I

I suppose not


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thursday afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block and hyperfixation wearing off makes things hard lol  
Though also I had most of this written *before* Virgil’s birthday, and as you can probably tell I kinda gave up
> 
> Not super invested in this fic anymore but I am gonna finish it eventually, I think it’s the lack of solid plot that’s hindering me here

_ **#general** _

**Remy**

EVERYONE SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO VIRGIL

**virgil** ❤️

NOOOOO IM A ADULT NOW

**Roman** 💜

HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAY

**Logan** 🌙 

Happy birthday! You were already an adult, though.

**virgil** ❤️

i know but like

that was still teenager adult this is adult adult

**Logan** 🌙 

I... suppose so.

**Linguini**

Happy birthday, Virgil!

**virgil** ❤️

ily guys

**Roman** 💜

AH SHIT I DIDNT GET YOU A GIFT

**virgil** ❤️

lol just call the furbies a day-early gift and it’s fine

**Roman** 💜

Nooo because I didn’t get them with the intention of them being your birthday gift so they don’t count

**virgil** ❤️

🔫

**Roman** 💜

😳

* * *

“Wait! I’ve had an idea!” Roman yelled suddenly, jumping up from the bed where he and Virgil had been lying down talking to each other on Discord instead of in real life for some reason.

“What?” Virgil frowned at Roman, but he’d already left the room. Virgil almost wanted to follow him, but decided to stay on the bed because hey, if Roman wanted him to get up he’d have to come back and drag him out of bed himself.

Roman returned about 20 minutes later, a blanket in hand.

“We’re going on a picnic!” Roman declared with all the drama of a gay prince.

“What?”

“Picnic! We’re going on one!”

“Aight.”

And so they were in the car driving to who knows where. Well, Roman knew but Virgil didn’t. 

He took them to a large field dotted with flowers, a couple of cows grazing on the far end. Virgil was reasonably worried about both cow poop and trespassing, but Roman assured him that both weren’t problems.

Gonna be real honest idk how to write proper dates, they ate food watched the sunset and kissed under the stars. Boom, romantic, I’m a fucking visionary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this is so short and kinda sucks lol I was genuinely stuck on how to end this chapter so I made it much shorter than I originally intended


End file.
